Wednesday, 12 January 2022

Cat Theft - Not a Victimless Crime

For me 2022 went out with a bit of a Fuck You.  Some scumbags stole my Cat

Catalytic converter theft is a growing problem

According to farsight blog over 16,383 catalytic converter theft incidents were recorded in the first 7 months of the 2021, that's an average of 2,340 cats being pinched every month!  I am not one to play the victim and despite being fully insured, my car was written off as an uneconomic repair.  Which is all well and good, but there is still a financial impact to the unlucky owner in the unplanned purchase of a new vehicle.

Turn Adveristy into an RPG Plot Hook

I have to stay positive and think of a way I can turn this adversity into a positive.  How about a plot hook for a Judge Dredd game.  Enter nefarious music producer Simon Power.

He has been working on putting together a super-group girl band called Kat Kitten and the Power Converters and he just hasn't been able to get their sound right.  None of the band can sing worth a lick but he stumbled on a rare psychometric study which postulated that a cats meow at the right frequency has a psychotropic effect akin to mind control.  His plan is to add this mysterious M note to the band's song "Don't Stop By Me Now"  

His backroom boffins have isolated the particular cat's meow that he needs to fill his lineup and has despatched teams of audio analysts to track down the right cat for the job.  They have been prowling the streets of MC-1 secretly recording pet cats and passing on the owners details to a a gang of catnappers.


These pet pinching perpetrators have been getting away scott free until one particular owner catches them in the act and tries to prevent her moggy from getting manhandled and she falls to her death from her apartment balcony.

Jocelyn Wildenstein - An Ugly Pageant Competitor
Jocelyn Wildenstein / Mr. Blofeldt
Ugly Competitor / Pet Cat
The victim is one Jocelyn Wildenstein, a famous ugly pageant winner and the owner of a prize winning pedigree pussy named Mr. Blofelt who just so happens to have the magical meow that Simon Power is desperately searching for.  Needless to say the cat is missing.

Ms Wildenstein's death has escalated the case of the missing moggies to a capital crime and the Judges will need to enlist the aid of Tek Division best to trawl through the hundreds of cases and thousands of hours of video footage to find the connection between the victims.  Or MAC can do the same job in about 6 hours.

The cats are all different species but the one thing that they have in common is their meows are all within a particular frequency.  

Having a Psi judge in your patrol squad will be useful when reviewing any vid footage of the missing cats.

As a backdrop to this plot hook the holo ads have been running thick and fast in the last couple of days promoting the release of the debut single from Kat Kitten and the Power Converters.

Some Potential Encounters

Record Store Riots - If the Judges don't get the connection before the release of the single, it will be fairly obvious that something is untoward is going on when the record stores run out of copies of the single due to its immense popularity.  Riots break out between crazed fans of the band as they storm record stores.

Live Concert Catatonic Conversion - Kat Kitten are appearing at an open air concert playing the B-Side of their single "Stop the World I Wanna Get Off" when the crowd suddenly go catatonic.  Reports start coming in over the air waves of mass reports of muteness among the population.  

Pop Mogul Protection - A baying mob attacks Elton John Luxy Apts the home of Simon Power and he needs to be rescued.  Attending his apartment, eagle eyed members of the patrol will notice the odd white hair laying on the sofa.  A search of the apartment will find a stash of synthi-cat food (Mr Blofelt's favourite flavour Liver and Tripe) in his kitchen.  Power will of course claim that he doesn't have a cat at all and that this is part of his diet regimen and even eat the cat food to prove it.  

Power keeps his secret musical weapon close and caged in a secret closet in his bedroom.  A member of the patrol with an allergy flaw, exceptional hearing or a Psi Judge will be sensitive to the cat's presence.  Of course if Power is subjected to cross examination with a birdie lie detector he will eventually crack.

Rounding up the Catnappers - Powers will give up the name of the gang he hired to steal the cats.  The Eartha Kitt Krew are an all female gang of catburglers who specialise in high rise heists using jet packs, skysurf boards, bat-suits, climbing gear and sucker knee pads.  

Their turf is in the lower levels of Adam West Block. They won't come quietly and are particularly adept at Martial Arts and also protected by a contingent of well armed heavies from neighbouring gang the Robinhoods out of Burt Ward Block.

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