Unfrosted - The Story of the Pop Tart

Unfrosted has been on my watchlist for a few months and I have to say it did not disappoint.

The premise is simple, two warring cereal companies in a 1960s that never was battle to be the first to crack the enigma of the fruit filled pastry breakfast treat. 

Stand out cameos from Bill Burr as JFK, Christian Slater as Mike the Menacing Mafia Milkman and not forgetting Hugh Grant as the English Actor who portrays Tony the Tiger before becoming the QAnon Shaman.

I swear that Hugh Grant is becoming funnier and funnier with age. 

The main cast are also great, each being fed a strong stream of oneliners and tight dialogue that shows off the writing talent of Jerry Seinfeld.

Check it out on Netflix it is honestly so much funnier than last year's Barbie

Time Bandits the TV Series

So Apple TV are going to do a Time Bandits TV Show...

This could suck in so many ways but I am hopeful that they don't stuff it up.

Movieweek 6 - Big Bug and Gangs of New York

Big Bug (2022) - 7/10

Jean-Pierre Jeunet is one of my favourite auteur directors so I jumped at the chance to watch his latest movie when it appeared in my Netflix notifications.

Visually this is a sumptuous movie and meticulous attention to detail went into its production and visual effects.  The characters are clearly defined and their motivations and mannerisms well expressed by an excellent cast.  However, the movie falls a bit flat.  This is clearly meant to be a stage play comedic farce in the style of a one room play.  

A cautionary tale of what might happen when an AI takes over the running of our everyday lives, the characters are completely at the mercy of the Yonyx AI which has developed some sort of human hating bug and has decided that humans are a lesser species.  The disturbing human baiting TV Shows increasingly become more brutal and humiliating as the Yonyx tightens its grip.Every attempt they make to escape or to thwart the Yonyx's tyranny only lands them in deeper water making the viewer feel like there is really no hope on the horizon.  

There are some genuinely humerous moments but these are few and far between in what could have been a much tighter piece.  Perhaps this movie suffered from production issues during the pandemic, I don't know, but I hope that Jeunet's next project returns to the form of Amelie, Mic Macs and The Young and Prodigious T.S.Spivet.

Gangs of New York (2002) - 7/10

It's been 20 years since I first saw Gangs of New York and I never really liked it the first time around.  I rarely enjoy fims that have been hyped to high heaven and this Scorcese epic was one of the biggest movies of its day. 

I was impressed by the cinematography from the get-go the sets were huge and complex and yet never drew the focus of attention away from the characters of the story.  The characters are everything to this movie, which, is essentially a tale of a son's revenge against the man who killed his father.   

The cast do an excellent job of portraying these brutal people from a brutal time clawing their way through life trying to make something of themselves.  Many die along the way, but a few become changed by history and opportunity.  This is one of John C Reilly's first "serious" movies and alongside some character acting greats like Brendon Gleason, Daniel Day Lewis and Jim Broadbent he does a great job.  Less convincing are the younger stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz whose portrayals seem so much less intense and captiviating.  Perhaps this is an intentional move on the part of the director as the road of their lives is so much less travelled and they are not world weary or burdened by their pasts.

I did enjoy this movie much more the second time around although I am still left feeling that this was very much a movie which didn't have much of a tale to tell and that there should have been much more interplay between the gangs of New York. 

Movieweek 4 - Norwegian Marital Murder , Bicycle Thieves and Revenge

A tough week in which I needed as much distraction as possible.  Thankfully I have a NETFLIX subscription.

The Trip (2021) - 7/10

Aksel Hennie has been one of my favourite Norwegian actors ever since I watched the amazing Max Manus and the stupendous Headhunters.  He is one of the countries bankable stars and crops up from time to time in Hollywood blockbusters like The Cloverfield Paradox or The Martian when there is a need for a scandanavian character.

In this dark comedy he is paired with the equally talented Noomi Rapace as a married couple who are unhappy with the way their marriage and careers have panned out.  Their answer is to kill each other for the insurance money during a planned trip to a cabin in the fjords.  There I said it fjords. 

If you like Cohen brothers style black comedies like Fargo you will like this movie.  It is well put together and pacing is great, there are very few moments when something isn't happening on screen and immediate flashbacks establish the motives and set up for what just happened when new protagonists enter the stage.

This is a Norwegian language film dubbed into English which I think is a mistake as the nuances of Rapace and Hennie's performances are lost in the dubbed dialogue.  I would recommend watching this with subtitles. 

All in all an entertaining 2 hours with stunning scenery and a fun tale of marital strife which would make a great Fiasco playset.    

Riders of Justice (2020) - 7/10

A Danish revenge saga starring Mads Mikkelsen (Fantastic Beasts 3, Casino Royale, Polar) who is always entertaining in his strong silent type roles.  If you haven't seen Polar or Arctic you need to check them out.

Mads is Markus, a hardened soldier who returns from operations in the desert when his wife is killed in a tragic train accident and he needs to look after his daughter Mathilde.  Fellow survivor Otto, a statistics expert, thinks this was deliberate and, after the police dismiss his claims, he assembles a team of hackers and goes full detective to find out who organised the assassination.

The cast are excellent and in particular Andrea Heick Gadeberg who has the difficult job of playing Mathilde, who despite being quite broken herself, is the glue that holds all these broken people together.

The story is double edged as you follow the emotional ups and downs of a bunch of very broken characters whilst they try to keep their covert operation a secret from Mathilde and the police.  Gradually we learn how these characters got to where they are, their bonds, what dark secrets they are witholding and ultimately how they start to begin to heal by living this strange new familial existence.

When they get close to their objective, the tension ramps up considerably.  The final 30 minutes are utterly gripping and you really don't know who is going to survive.  For me the initial 20 minutes were a bit slow, but once Otto and Markus meet for the first time, it really picked up and I was hooked.  Well worth the price of admission.

What on the D&D Earth is this?

The Dungeons and Dragons movie is 21 years old this year and after a 9 year hiatus there is 4th movie in production.  Hollywood does love a reboot.

However, The thing that has been bugging me for the last two decades is...

What the hell is Phil Cornwell supposed to be?

Phil Cornwell as uncredited Purple Humanoid

Obviously someone spent a whole heap of effort to design the prosthetics that Phil wore (you can't disguise his voice though) but I don't know of any civilised humanoid race which matches his description.  I do think he is kind of cool though. 

Is he supposed to be a triclops? Perhaps he is supposed to be some form of demi-beholder?  What is the purpose of the third eye? what is that vestigial fin on his head? why is he purple?

Answers (and any homebrew builds) in the comments box below.

My favoured explanation is that he is the product of some ill conceived magical experiment fusing the DNA of Mick Jagger with Xanathar?

What if Mick Jagger and Keith Richards ran a corner shop?

Of course this comes several months after the sad passing of John Sessions who was a long time partner of Phil during the 80s alternative comedy explosion.  Mick and Keith's corner shop on Stella Street holds a very dear place in my heart.  He is sorely missed but I will immortalise them both in my RPG campaigns.  Mick & Keef's Magical Emporium & Shoppe of Convenience.

Phil Cornwell (Mick Jagger) John Sessions (Keith Richards) - Stella Street

Rick and Morty - Packed full of Sci-Fi Tropes

I guess sometimes I can be accused of sleeping under a rock when it comes to the latest US TV shows, but I bet I'm not the only one.  Which is why I just have to share the love for Adult Swim's Rick and Morty.

An example of what happens in just about every episode.

Created by voice actor and director Justin Roiland, who some might recognise as the voice of Adventure Time's "Lemongrab",  and Dan Harmon, creator of the hit sit com "Community".  Rick and Morty is an adult sci-fi cartoon series following the mind bending, dimension hopping adventures of sociopathic alcoholic scientist Rick and his 14 year old grandson Morty.   

A show of two halves, each episode finds Rick and Morty on some wild adventure whilst his family (unemployed ad exec dad Jerry, horse surgeon mom Beth and unpopular sister Summer) are often left to deal with the unintended consequences of one of Rick's devices.

Bizarre ideas are the meat and potatoes of this show and no trope is safe.  Season 1 has seen cyborg dog revolution, a contagious love virus / preying mantis / Cronenberg monster apocalypse, inception dream walking, alien abduction, a Rick and Morty multiverse, sex robots and alien child rearing to name just a few.

Meanwhile Jerry and Beth struggle to keep their marriage alive, as Dan Harmon puts it, "the nature of their relationship is that it's always 1 minute from ending" and Summer stives to improve her social position from "not super hot/super popular" high school girl whilst being the result of the "unwanted pregnancy" that keeps her parents together.

The language and visuals are as adult and bizarre as they can be and dialogue is often delivered at a breakneck pace in order to cram as much action in as humanly possible.  The casting is spot on from regular voice performers Justin Roiland (Rick/Morty), Chris Parnell (Jerry), Spencer Grammer (Summer), Sarah Chalke (Beth) to the great vocal cameos delivered by Alfred Molina, Dana Carvey, David Cross, Rich Fulcher, Claudia Black, Virginia Hey, John Oliver and Cree Summer.

Rick & Morty 3D Billboard courtesy of Dailybillboard

 The show is a definite must see and has been picked up for a second series scheduled to air in early 2015 along with a spin-off comic book.  The "point and click" style game "Rick and Morty's Rushed Licensed Adventure" is also available to play on the adultswim website.

With all this richness it should only be a matter of time before someone writes a Fiasco playset based on this universe and it's one setting that most definitely has to go "gonzo"... every single time.

Movie Watch: The Brass Teapot

I love indie films, they can often get away with things that Hollywood wouldn't or couldn't get through its exhaustive audience testing process.   

The Brass Teapot is one such film, it's essentially a morality tale disguised as a comedy with a supernatural focus in the form of a magical teapot which gives you money in exchange for pain.

The tale follows the likeable, but struggling young couple, Juno Temple (Atonement, Killer Joe) and Michael Angarano (The Forbidden Kingdom, Sky High) who discover a magical, money producing teapot and set about using it to change their lives.  The pair are likeable although a little stereotypical, and are surrounded by a plethora of family, friends and enemies who are all exploited by the pair as they gradually fall under the spell of the teapot. 

Add in the pair of Jewish grandsons and the strange Chinese Professor of Antiquity who both know the true power of the teapot and things turn comically dark. 

What's in it for role players

Well obviously it's the magic teapot.  I loved the way the story of this cursed item played out for the couple and it would pose a challenge to any greedy character in your game.   Essentially the teapot rewards you financially in exchange for experiencing pain but the longer you use the teapot more it's power grows, and it moves on to the next stage of its reward structure.

• Stage 1: Accidental Injury to oneself. 
• Stage 2: Self Inflicted Injury
• Stage 3: Injury inflicted by another
• Stage 4: Injury to a stranger
• Stage 5: Injury of a friend
• Stage 6: Death of a stranger
• Stage 7: Death of a friend
• Stage 8: Death of a thousand
• Stage 9: Death of a town
• Stage 10: Death of a Nation
• Stage 11: Death of a species or race.

I'd make sure that it was found as a side treasure in a tomb and be pretty but mundane looking, either functional or at best semi-valuable, so as not to become an instant trade. 

Have the items power hidden for a time and only revealed to one or two characters (preferably a thief) who can keep a secret.  Allowing them to gradually discover the teapot's secret should add some interesting side story to your party.  As the owner becomes blasé about using the teapot's power, it should start paying less, or stop altogether.  They won't get a similar payout again until they find a new way of causing pain, which could be fun in it's own way.

Enjoy...

Everyone is John

This Friday's game was postponed and a new GM, Thora, stepped up to the plate and offered to run a a one session game called Everyone is John.  I'd never heard of this game but as it was described as a rules light freeform competitive game, it was just up my alley.

John Cleese

The set-up for the game is simple, John is a normal bloke going about his day-to-day existence when he has a schitzophrenic episode and begins to listen to The Voice in his head.  Each player becomes a voice, with their own unique set of skills and obsessions.  However, John can only listen to one voice at a time so the players must bid using willpower to control The Voice and thereby influence what John does.  It's handy if you represent willpower with a bunch of tokens as players can simply reveal how many tokens they have in their hand.  The winning bidder then loses those tokens for the rest of the game.  

John is quite fickle and so control of The Voice only lasts for about 10 minutes or until a player fails a roll, at which time the bidding process starts again. 

SKILLS AND OBSESSIONS

Jon Bon Jovi

Each player is then issued with 6 blank cards upon which they have to write 3 skills and 3 obsessions.  These are then randomly distributed to each player making sure nobody picked their own skills or obsessions.

Skills are used to reduce the difficulty of completing an action and can be actual skills (Boxing, PC Repair, Knowledge: Thermonuclear Devices), special abilities (Hail a cab first time everytime, ) or equipment (Letter Opener, Mobile Phone, Sonic Screwdriver).  Remember, the game is competitive and what you write down goes to your opponents so picking really usefull or powerful skills will most likely work against you.

Obsessions are your victory conditions and are ranked in 3 levels:

Jeanne D'Arc

Level 1 - Easy (pig out on candy, pick your nose on live TV)
Level 2 - Medium (steal a fast car, kiss a celebrity)
Level 3 - Hard (become President of the United States, Go to the Moon)

Each time you complete an obsession you score its Level, the more times you complete them the more points you score.  At the end of the game, the player with the most points is declared the winner.

HOW IT PLAYED FOR US

Our Skills

Can Touch their Nose with Their Tongue	Tune a Guitar	Eat Fire	Can Communicate with a Single Ant
Sonic Screwdriver	Bricklaying	Kung Fu	Summon a mode of Transport by Smoking his Last Cigarette
Can hail a cab first time, every time	Fly a plane	Literary Criticism	Become the Master of the Universe by wearing a traffic cone  on his head and singing "I've got the Power, To Pick up a flower"

Our Obsessions

LVL 1	Cook an Ostrich	Become a Buddhist Monk	Pick Nose on Live TV	Kick an Authority Figure up the Bum and run away like Charlie Chaplin
LVL 2	Steal an Atom Bomb	Stop a Terrorist Bomb from destroying the Eiffel Tower	Steal a Waxwork of Maggie Thatcher from Madame Tussauds	Draw a moustache on a Traffic Warden
LVL 3	Capture a Dinosaur	Discover Australia	Find Evidence that Aliens Exist in Area 51	Make a dog have a white poo

What John Did

John Shuttleworth

John began the game walking through Victoria Station, London when he had his first episode.  He then ran outside the station and hailed a cab telling the driver to head for Madame Tussauds Waxwork Museum.  (BID)  He asked the driver to head instead for London Zoo and if he could stop by some road works on the way.  The taxi driver pulled over to the side of the road and John leap out and grabbed a traffic cone, stuck it on his head and started singing "Ive got the Power... To Pick up a Flower".  He then summoned forth all traffic wardens and got back in the taxi. 

As the taxi sped towards London Zoo, traffic wardens were walking out of side roads in a zombie-like trance.  The taxi driver swerved around them and John opened the window and tried to grab one as they passed but failed.  (BID)  John immediately demanded the taxi head to Madame Tussauds and he tried to use his sonic screwdriver to make the taxi go faster, but unfortunately failed.  (BID)  John abandoned the taxi and whilst smoking his last cigarette, summoned the TARDIS.  As it began to materialise he spotted a nearby Lollipop Woman and kicked her up the bum and ran towards the TARDIS (but unfortunately not like Charlie Chaplin).  The Doctor was suprised that the TARDIS had been so easily summoned but when John asked to go back in time to the Jurrasic era to capture a dinosaur, his curiosity got the better of him.

John Belushi

Arriving in the Jurrasic era, The Doctor agreed to wait in the TARDIS for John to return and watched him walk off into the swamp.  (BID)  John used his Literary Criticism to argue with himself that the Doctor was a fictional character and that the TARDIS was a poorly executed plot device and so could not possibly have transported him back through time.  This clearly meant that the swamp he was in was simply a Jurrasic era exhibit in a Natural History Museum somewhere like Sydney, Australia.  He promptly tore the shirt off his back and waved it around in the air and shouted "I claim this land in the name of Queen and Country and hereby name her Australia!!"...

Conclusion

The players got into the swing of things pretty quickly and it was definitely the most hilariously anarchic and inventive game I've played in a long time.  Most RPGs are not wild fights of fantasy for obvious reasons, but it is good to let your hair down every now and then to play something which demands unbridled creativity.  This game would be great in an after convention/party situation or as we found as a filler game if your regular DM hasn't turned up.

John McEnroe

With slight modification to the pre-amble (Mental Health is a serious issue) and possibly pre-defined skills/goals (to keep the action a little more grounded) this concept could be used quite successfully as an introduction to RPGs for non-gamers.  It encourages problem solving through creativity and imagination and the action is fast paced with only a modicum of dice rolling so should be able to hold most people's attention.

This is definitely going into my GMs Survival Kit and may well get another play quite soon.

NSFW Movie Double Bubble - Cobra The Space Pirate and Cockneys vs Zombies

The classic 80s adult themed anime Space Adventure Cobra gets a live action movie directed by Alexander Aja (Piranha, The Hills Have Eyes).  Scheduled for 2013 there are no details other than this sweet poster.  I could be mistaken, but is that David Wenham (300, Van Helsing, Lord of The Rings, Australia)  posing as Cobra, I do hope so, cos he's a great character actor.

Thanks to the Troll Lord Stephen Chenault, for finding the trailer for Cockneys vs Zombies which if you haven't seen it is here.



Michelle Ryan (Eastenders) leads an unlikely ensemble cast including Alan Ford (aka Bricktop), Honor Blackman (aka Pussy Galore) and Richard Briers (aka Tom Goode) in a tale of Eastend bankrobbers going toe-to-stump with the walking dead.  Looks like a riot.

I'm no Eastender but isn't cockney rhyming slang for zombies, Stale Bread ... Walking Dead?

The Boys are Back!!

The first trailer for the new series of Red Dwarf is out and by the looks of it the Boys from the Dwarf are on top form.