Am I Too Late to Join the Index Card RPG Party?

I have been loosely following the exploits of Runehammer for a couple of years on YouTube and I had been intrigued by the concept of the Index Card RPG (ICRPG) but was always too scared to dip my toes in the water until now

First Impressions of ICRPG

As a no-prep DM, I am always looking for something that I can get to the table in as little time as possible.  Character gen needs to be trivial and the system should be easy to pick up with a few basic concepts and a comfortable familiarity for those players of other systems. In addition the system needs to lean towards narrative play whilst having enough mechanical aspects that hte inevitable combat and magic flow smoothly and consistently.  

ICRPG seems to have all of this but we will need to see how it plays and how easy it is for me to DM. 

Do It Yourself RPG

At the core of the game (it's in the title) and one of the biggest attractions is the index card concept. Brandon Gillam, the man behind Runehammer is of course a consumate artist and has drawn many of these flash card images which are used in play and you are encouraged to draw your own to fit your own game concept or storyline.

 

I'm no artist so the first order of the day is to assemble a stack of index cards with images from ICRPG Volumes 1 & 2 pasted onto them.  This took a few hours which I am sure to get back when actually playing the game.  

 

I'm going to sort these into 3 specific decks; Props, Places & Monsters ahead of my first game.  

 

(DM From the Future: Keeping these decks secret from the players is quite the challenge when all the cardbacks are white.  Watch this space for an ICRPG Card Stamp set.

First Play

I played this for the first time at our recent Dragons Keep Games Day to a small bunch of players of varying skill levels.  The objective wass to run through a few scenarios and see how the players took to the system and how much time I spent looking through the rulebook.

I thought about pre-genning some characters to get us off to a flying start, but time was not on my side.  I underestimated how long it would take to glue 100 pictures to index cards in the few evenings I had before Game Day.  I must find a way of printing directly onto the card or perhaps use stickers.  

However, on the day character gen took about 15 minutes. I need to create a quick flowchart for those not familiar with the standard fantasy or sci-fi RPG character tropes and having multiple copies of the starter character loot table and weapons is also a must.

The players chose their minis and, after a brief explanation of how the target numbers for encounters worked, we were off to the races.  

Generating The Plot

As I mentioned, I want this game to run for no-prep pickup, so I used the cards to generate the plot.  Ths is where ICRPG really shines as a picture says a thousand words and sparks the players imagination far more than any long description can.  For those playing along at home, everything in BOLD is an index card.

 

It wouldn't have been a fantasy RPG if it didn't start in a tavern so I layed out one of the village building cards that looked tavern like and then surrounded these with four other cards North, South, East and West.  This represented the rumours of adventure that they learned from the locals whilst they were enjoying their drinks.  They didn't fancy the desert of desolation, the barrier keep or the necromancers tower so headed off East to the mountains to kill a dragon.  "Now that's what I call worldbuilding!!"

Encounter 1

Heading out along the windy road through the low hills they encountered an abandoned cart with a broken wheel.  As they pondered where the owner and horse were I slapped down a Target 10 card and asked them all to roll their WIS for a passive perception check to detect the two animated plants that were about to ambush them.

They quickly got into the action and I explained how the range system worked.  

 

DM mistake number one was not reading up on the very limited magic system in ICRPG.  Mages start with a magic missile but the mage in the party decided he wanted to dehydrate the first plant.  As he had a spell book from his starting equipment, I said role a D8 and you can have that many spells written in your book.  Even if I had read the spell list I would probably have opted for something similar in any case.

 

Meanwhile another club member walked in so I threw him the rule book and a blank character sheet and explained the basics of character gen.  Combat was swift and decisive and it was not long before our new member of the party was discovered entangled behind a nearby bush.  He went off in search of his horse dobby accompanied by the elf ranger whilst the others set about mending his wagon.

Following a trail of foot prints I slapped down the cave mouth with teeth.  They approached cautiously as I really played up the jagged teeth vibe and they found dobby the horse inside.  At the back of the cave they found a rusty portcullis and a lever on the otherside.  The ranger ran back to the others to get help. 

 

The mage decided that casting a shrink/grow spell on one of the characters was the way to go and so a tiny halfling walked easily through to the other side.  This was another spell for the mage's book and we determined on the roll of a D8 how many minutes the spell would last for.  He rolled a 6, but I made a DM Decision that one of his other spells was a dispell.  The rogue was instantled restored back to his original size and with a critical hit pull of the lever the ancient mechanism shuddered to life and the portcullis rose.

 

Beyond the portcullis they discovered some Corridors and Stairs and I made the elf wizard roll a DEX check as he triggered a trap.  Looking above he saw a Dangling Stone Weight about to crush him.  He used up one of his spells, to stone shape the weight and the pressure plate thereby disabling the trap.  At the next corridor I told them that the corridor was bathed in a greasy red light.  I thought that they would pick up on the fact that they had essentially triggered the dungeons alarm system but sadly no.

Encounter 2

In the next encounter they walked into a huge circular room with a golden skull on a pedastal at its center.  Down went the 16 Target Card and a WIS check revealed the sleeping  floating high in the ceiling. 

 

A haste spell was cast and most of the party ran towards the pedastal but they were not stealthy and the beholder awoke firing off a couple of blasts.  DM mistake number two was not having read the monster description for the beholder which would have made it slightly less taxing to dream up some eye beam effects, "but this is not my first rodeo..."  

There was some really inventive spell play from Jason the mage and a lot of channeling of Indiana Jones.  The final encounter was quite cool as several players got blasted by various eyebeams and the players experienced the death mechanic, which was useful to know.

Eventually they discovered that the gold skull was actually The Skull of Calderon and they used its power to dispatch the beholder and grabbed some well earned loot.

All in all a very fun experience for all and a very cheap and easy way to get into RPGs or as a primer to running your very first game as a DM.

What ICRPG isn't

If you are looking for a system which has layers of complexity where you can build your character from a low level up to some mythical epic hero then ICRPG is not for you.  Character progression is in there but it will be fairly short due to the condensed nature of the game and it's simplicity.

What I Bought

• Index Card RPG Core (2nd Edn) rules - a soft back copy (surprisingly expensive in the UK) from eBay for £23.69 delivered
  

• Index Card RPG Vol 1 - 100 Cards depicting Props, Places and Monsters for fantasy games such as the Runehammer Alfheim setting.  Many of the cards in the first two sets are found as illustrations in the core rulebook.
  
  
• Index Card RPG Vol 2 - 100 Cards depicting Props, Places and Monsters for dungeon games.
  
  
• Index Card RPG Vol 3 - 100 Cards depicting Props, Places and Monsters for Sci-Fi games such as the Runehammer Warp Shell setting.  Cool powerloader image!!
  
  
• Index Card RPG Vol 4 - 100 Cards depicting Props, Places and Monsters for the Wild West Horror inspired Weird West Setting.
  
  
• ICRPG Target Cards - a set of numbered Target cards showing the easy (-3) and difficult (+3) target numbers.
  
  
• ICRPG Character Sheet - a basic character sheet which I printed at half size to create a booklet format with plenty of space for players to scribble their notes.
  
  
• 1000 Blank Record Card Cards (6"x4") - I needed to restock in any case as I use record cards a lot in my games.

Other Useful Resources

ICRPG Character Generator - like DnD Beyond for your ICRPG character and it spits out a nice PDF.

I Bought Another RPG... Flotsam

In a recent article I wrote on the Dragons Keep Roleplay Club site in support of the November 2021 RPG Blog Carnival, I mentioned my love of Indie TTRPGs.  

One such game I namedropped as a "Would love to Play" was Flotsam from Black Armada Games.  Well I couldn't resist and handed over my cash to the eBay gods. 

Flotsam: Adrift Among The Stars

The premise is simple, you live in the underbelly of a spacestation.  Unseen and unheard you are the underclass of society, the renegades and misfits that the more prosperous society above cares not to think about.  The game cites such inspiration such the belters of The Expanse, the folk of Downbelow from Babylon 5 but this is a story told many times in the stories of underclass struggle seen in Asimov's Foundation or even Anime such as Battle Angel Alita or Megazone 23.  

Flotsam: Adrift Among the Stars - Joshua Fox (Black Armada)

 
Interesting Game Concept 

Whilst the game has the standard Player Character that we all know and love, it introduces the interesting concept of a secondary character known as the situation.  Situations are the world building element to the game and the way in whihc you introduce threats and complications into the lives of your characters.  

This is not a Rulebook, It's a Way of Life

If your only experience of Roleplaying Games is Dungeons and Dragons then this might come as a bit of a culture shock.  Flotsam is more or less a guidebook on how to run a GMless narrative story.  This is something I have, in middle age, come to embrace through my exposure to Indie TTRPGs like Fiasco! and The Quiet Year.  Flotsam is a game in this vein and is very much focused on the relationships between players as they struggle with everyday life and the challenges that situations throw at them. 

Collaborative world building is a fun way to run a game as everyone gets to contribute their ideas into the mix rather than following a prescribed narrative written by one mind.  Each player gets to introduce their own situation which makes for a much more complex and nuanced experience as characters struggle to deal with the various competing priorities.  Players will make decisions in a much more organic way based on perceived threat and poor information, a totally different kind of play compared to traditional roleplaying games where players come preloaded with information about the world.    

First Impressions

This is a first impressions article and I have yet to bring this to the table but with the festive season fast approaching and the possibility of a Christmas Eve Friday with low attendance, this might just make an appearance.  Fingers crossed.

If you have played a game let me know how it went in the comments below.

Dragon Slayers - A Fantasy Fiasco! at Dragons Keep

A Fiasco! adventure at Dragons Keep using the Dragon Slayers playset by Logan Bonner.

This was the first time I'd run this playset and the session was run using discord but was bedevilled by a poor connectivity all round (Thanks internet!!)

 The Setup

RELATIONSHIP... CULTURE you worship the same God NEED... TO AMASS A HORDE To fund a private army	DERFAL Holy Champion of the Fell (Ryan)	RELATIONSHIP... FELLOWSHIP Leader / Wannabe Leader LOCATION... IN THE WILD The cave of visions
COHEN A Barbarian (Apo)	THE TILT Misplaced Passion	GRUFF BLOODAXE Capt. of Ironhold Dwarves (Mark)
RELATIONSHIP... MAGIC A Diabolist /  Sacrifice LOCATION... DUNGEON LOWER LEVEL The Dragons Lair	VARENA (Princess) 3rd daughter of King Varos of Zarozinia (Tony)	RELATIONSHIP... WAR "You Killed My Father" OBJECT... TROPHIES Ring on Mummy's finger

The Stuck Pig Inn

Our adventures begin the day after the party have returned from slaying the Dragon and retrieving the horde.  Everyone is nursing a serious hangover and Cohen is missing. 

We quickly establish that the tomn of Pissante is down to its last chicken and all the other livestock have been eaten by the dragon.   Gruff dealt the killing blow to the Dragon whilst being distracted by Princess Varena, that Cohen likes to drink from dog bowls and Derfal is a most pious holy champion.

We also learn that the heroes have not planned beyond amassing the Dragons Horde  

The Stuck Pig

On the Road Looking for the One-eyed Killer

 "Are we there yet?" says the princess.  "No!" says Cohen who is driving the cart through the dusty, desolate landscape.  The three men argue about if they are going the right way, exactly why they need to raise a private army and who is this one-eyed killer.  Up ahead a dust cloud signals an approaching traveller.  It is a dark robed figure riding a white horse.  They pull up their horses and engage in roadside conversation.

"I have been looking for you" says Cohen "I want to hire you and your army". 

"THEN YOU KNOW MY PRICE... 1 YEAR OF YOUR LIVES AND I WILL KILL ANYONE YOU DESIRE" says DEATH.  The heroes consider this bargain but Gruff demands to see a demonstration.

"I AM A SUPERNATURAL BEING WHO HOLDS POWER OVER LIFE AND DEATH, WELL MOSTLY DEATH BUT YOU CATCH MY DRIFT" and waves a boney finger in the general direction of the heroes.

Samuel the cart horse, who has been a trusty companion since they escaped the Castle of King Varos of Zarozina slumps to the ground dead.

Death on his horse Binky

On the Road to the Dragons Lair 

"Are we there yet" says princess Varena.  "No, but ask me again in another 5 minutes princess" replies Cohen.  Derfal wants to make sure that they all understand the plan for when the raid the dragon's lair.  "You guys hang back I'll take the lead, this dragon is mine"

"First time?" asks Gruff "It's usually a group thing, you never know what you will encounter and if you manage to kill the dragon you will want someone to witness your heroism.  I suggest we see how you get on in the upper levels and then decide our strategy then".

"Yes, we can have a workplace assessment.  It's a great opportunity to evaluate our performance, identify strengths and training opportunities for future growth and personal development." says Varena, "I don't know much about killing dragons but I had years of Royal Household Management Training at Mrs Hegemony's Princess Finishing School".

24 Hours after Meeting Death

"So what happened to your army?" asks Cohen.

"MUSICAL DIFFERENCES" replies Death in a dissapointed voice "WAR GETS DISTRACTED BY BAR FIGHTS, PESTILENCE SMELLS... AND FAMINE, WELL LETS JUST SAY THAT THE KEBAB SHOP OUTSIDE THE GIG DOES A BRISKER TRADE THAN THE VENUE.  ANYWAY, I'VE BEEN SOLO FOR A WHILE, I AM A FREE SPIRIT, I MEAN SUPERNATURAL ENTITY.  HELL WILL FREEZE OVER BEFORE WE REUNITE.

NOW ARE YOU GOING TO SIGN THE CONTRACT OR NOT?"

"We are a little unsure about the payment, can you go through it again" Gruff asks.

"IT'S PAINLESS, I JUST STEAL MOMENTS HERE AND THERE THROUGH YOUR LIFETIME.  I'VE ALREADY STOLEN 15 MINUTES OF PRINCESS VARENA'S LIFE AND NONE OF YOU EVEN NOTICED.  YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD ME WHO YOU WANT KILLED?

Cohen proudly states "Oh that's easy, it's the man who killed Varena's fa..."

Varena's head bangs loudly on the side of the cart.  "SORRY TO INTTERUPT YOUR FLOW BUT I DON'T THINK YOU WANTED HER TO HEAR THAT"

"Now let's hold on a minute" blusters Gruff "As I recall it was a fair fight, a matter of honour infact.  You could even call it a duel.  Admittedly, I had to slay the entire palace guard, all the lords and ladies in waiting, a dozen minor nobles and even Varena's mother and two sisters to get to him, but he kept hiding behind everyone"

The Princesses Bed Chamber

From the sounds of the commotion in the Great Hall the Palace Guard are doing a fine job fending off the attackers.  Varena is shocked but excited when the Cohen bursts into the room demanding "Are you a Princess?", finally her dream of being kidnapped is coming true, just like Mrs Hegemony said it would.

"Aren't you a little scrawny for a barbarian, I expect princesses shouldn't be choosy.  Would you like me to struggle for you?" 

At that moment Derfal and a very bloodied Gruff burst in.  "Come on we've got to get out of here!" gasps Gruff.

"I'm all packed and ready to go just like it says in Chapter 57 - Kidnap Preparedness" says Varena, "Have you left a ransom note? I can help you write it Mr. Barbarian.  I'm only a 3rd Princess so you don't want to be greedy with your demands shall we say your weight in gold?  Perhaps we should ask for the Dwarf's weight in gold instead.  I would say 300 pounds of gold"

"250 pounds thank you, I've been watching my diet" retorts Gruff... gruffly.

"Right now let's be off" Varena exclaims and activates a secret door behind her bedroom mirror.  "This will take us into the poor quarter on the edge of the city near the gate"

In the Monastery of the Fell

Novice Derfal and Novice Cohen are in a debate about what Holy Day they are praying for.  It's the most holiest of holy Spot the Dog's Day.  The Master's most favourite companion "Blessed be his name".   Brother Dominic looks dissaprovingly at the pair "Sssssssshhhh".  

The Monks of the Fell Monstery 

Brother Kevin rolls his eyes and decries "Six months in the order and he hasn't even learned his Holy Days!  Forsooth Brother, I'm not sure this one will ever ascend beyond the rank of dogwalker"

At that moment time stands still and boney hands grip Cohen and Derfal's shoulders. 

"YOU ARE BOTH REQUIRED ELSEWHERE.  I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME WE BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND, DON'T YOU?"

The Getaway & Mrs Miggins Mead and Wine Shoppe

The gang of four come out of the tunnel into Slipshod Alley in the poor quarter.

"I feel the need, the need for mead" says Cohen "Where's the nearest Tavern?"  The Princess leads them to a small shop a couple of streets away.  "This should do nicely" and pushes the party through the doors of the off-licence.

Mrs Miggins recognises the Princess and bowing and scraping tells them that their order will be complimentary.  A barrel of mead and a case of Chateau Brigande are procured later and the unlikely bunch are heading out of the gate on a cart and horse with the Princess leading the escape on a small pony.

The Dungeon Upper Level and Goblins

The four heroes are lit only by the light of Derfal's single torch.  "Right now get behind me, I know what I'm doing, the exit is this way" he says lifting his torch high in the air to illuminate the massive gothic columns of a gothic hallway once home to som e long dead clan of dwarves.  His torch is promptly extinguished by a gold draught and the party fumble in the darkness for a flint. 

The torch sputters into life illuminating the horde of 20 goblins that now surreound them on all sides. 

Like a whirling dervish Gruff springs into action moving down goblin after goblin before they even have chance to strike.  The party stand in awe at his martial prowess.

Act Two

The Dragons Lair

The four heroes find the sleeping dragon and Derfal goes right up to it and pokes it in the snout with his sword.  The Dragon reflexively sneezes blowing the Holy Champion clean across the hall and into a huge pile of gold coins.  Gruff lets out a battle cry and launches a furious attack but is effortlessly batted away by the dragon as it wakes. 

"Who dares disturb my slumber" bellows the dragon in an impeccable English accent.  "I Cohen the Barbarian disturb your slumber" retorts the scrawny human drawing his cheese axe.  However, the Dragon looks past the barbarian and spies Verena.  "Well hello there, and who might this ravishing morsel be?".

The Dragon who seems to have a thing for Princesses

The dragon is clearly besotted with Verena who suggestively complains that it is very hot in here and begins to unbutton her blouse affording Gruff the opportunity to leap from the balcony above and behead the giant creature.

Removing the Horde

The crew pack all the gold they can carry and despite the princesses protestations fill her luggage with gold and gems and retreat out of the dragons lair.  As they retrace their steps through the upper dungeon level they pass a large pile of dead stirges from a previous encounter.  Gruff mutters "By the Gods I hate Stirges"

They pack the gold into the cart and head back to Pissante.

Death gathers his Army

Flash forward a couple of weeks and the party finally agree to refuse Death's contract.  Death accuses them of wasting his time and he summons his hosemen companions.  One by one they appear on the rode astride their hell steeds.  Each horse carries an instrument case, Famine carries a double bass, Pestilence a guitar and War's massive charger has a kettle drum on each side.

Death addresses his band mates.  "I HAD A WORD WITH SATAN AND HE SAID HE'D LOVE A SKI-ING TRIP"

In the Cave of Visions

Gruff has heard tell of a magical cave in the wilds known as the cave of visions.  Perhaps they will find out how to ressurect King Varos.  They don't have any difficulty finding the cave in fact it is clearly marked on the tourist map they purchased in a nearby village.  In the cave mouth is a tin bucket with the words "Admission 1 Gold Coin Each" scrawled on the side. 

Inside they are met by a blind old crone who leads them into a cave with a large underground lake.  SHe urges them to wade into the waters and to submerge themselves.  They do so and receive a shared vision of Pestilence wearing a copper ring playing the guitar in a seedy inn in Zarozinia called the Ramblin' Ruin.

Confronting the 4 Horsemen at the gig  the Rambling Ru inn 

The heroes find "The Deadalls" at the Ramblin' Ruin playing an improv jazz set to an empty audience.  As War begins his drum solo thee other 3 players step off the stage and join the heroes at the bar.  Cohen immediately approaches Pestilence and exclaims "Oh man, I'm your biggest fan.  You absolutely nailed it up there."  he grips the emaciated guitarist by the hand deftly swiping the ring from his bony fingers.  Pestilence barely has a moment "Wow, it's always a pleasure to meet my fans..." before he crumbles to dust.  

Cohen's three companions jaws drops as he puts the ring on his finger  "what's gotten your tongues?  and where did all these flies come from?"

Ressurrecting the King

In the Royal Crypt deep below the palace the four heroes stand over the sarcophagus of King Varos.  They jimmy open the lid and Cohen the Pestilent filled with the knowledge of all the Pestilence's which have gone before him instinctively knows how to use the ring.  He waves his hand over the corpse and King Varos gasps back to life.  His daughter hugs him dearly in a touching and delicate moment.

A bony hand touches Cohen on the shoulder.  "TIME TO GO PESTILENCE, WE'RE ON STAGE IN 10 MINUTES"

The Aftermath

Who knew that Pestilence Cohen could play guitar.  His stint with the band was short lived as before too long another hero looking to ressurect a loved one would take his place.

Derfal had only one mission in life which was to keep Cohen out of trouble.  With this gone his life never got back on track and he descended into a life of cheap booze, vagrancy and petty larceny before he was jailed for dog larceny.

No one knows what became of Gruff.  Perhaps he returned to the Dwarven Mountains.  His final words were before he faded into myth and legend heard on the wind "Well I'm going to have to call it a night lads, I'm bushed!!"

Verena lived a long and happy life succeeding her father as the Queen of Zarozinia after his death at a ripe old age.  She often talked of her adventures as mere strip of a girl and her brief encounter with...

... The Dragon Slayers.

The Cat With an Arseload of Diamonds

It's no secret that I am a big fan of Jason Morningstar's FIASCO RPG, so when my regular Friday game was postponed, I jumped at the chance to run my favourite indie RPG.

I chose the Gangster London playset by Graham Walmsley which takes its inspiration from the mockney gangster movies of Mr Guy Richie.

The Cast

Dan H - Gold Top the milkman and small time drug dealer who is a bit tasty.

Dan C - Sniffy friend and associate of Gold Top who likes to sample his own product a bit too much.

Tony B - Razor an old style gangster, uncle to Sniffy and into everything but drugs.

Steve T - Stir a disgraced former MP who shared a cell in Wormwood Scrubs with Razor.

Act One

Razor and Stir are in the Admiral Benbow pub discussing their next job, a heist of stolen diamonds from one of the Ukranian boys Frank the Wank.  Sniffy joins them from the bar with his associate Gold Top.  Stir says that Frank has some diamonds coming into the country in a couple of weeks from Amsterdam.  They are being smuggled inside a cat.  Gold Top is the only driver in the group as Stir's Rolls is in the garage, Sniffy is too young and Razor lost his years ago.  "Top of the line milk float, all the bells and whistles" says Gold Top beaming with pride.  Razor and Stir agree to make a visit to Frank's cats home to set up the deal.

Flash back to Sniffy and Gold Top out on their round.  First call of the day is Dodgy Greg an out of work actor who likes to spend his leisure time with Charlie.  Greg lives on the Jasmine Allen Estate, one of the rougher parts of the manor.  Whilst Greg pours out the milk revealing the bag of coke stuffed in the bottle, Sniffy spots a couple of young scrotes trying to nick some milk from the back of the float. They give chase and catch the two kids and give them a kicking.  Some passing cops spot the pair and arrest them.

Gold Top's story is that he's just an honest milkman and the two little milk stealing shits needed to be taught a lesson otherwise they'll end up a pair of right proper Krays.  Call it "preventative justice", you could say they were doing the Old Bill a favour.  The cops let them off with a caution and the pair are released from custody.  As they walk back to the milk float they spot an old lady stapling a picture of her lost cat to the tree.  Gold Top notices the REWARD GIVEN line and asks her how much?  The old lady says that Mr Tiddles is her only companion and means the world to her.  She would give them her life savings to have him returned.  Intrigued by the thought of a few grand in reward money the pair follow the old lady back to her bungalow.

Flash back to Stir in his car driving down the A11 after a Conservative party rally.  He's smashed out of his skull on cheap bubbly and it's 3am.  He barely notices the impact as his Azure Blue 1969 Silver Shadow ploughs into a Citroen 2CV running it off the road, through a fence, down an embankment and into a tree.  He pulls over to inspect the damage to his pride and joy.  Through the cloud of steam billowing out of the radiator a young wideboy looms. 

"Oi mate, ain't ya gonna see if the other car's alright?" says the man. "What other car?" says Stir.  The woman's cries of help can clearly be heard from the roadside.  The man starts down the embankment.  Stir pulls out his phone and calls his mechanic Double Bore Billy. 

"I'm in a spot of bother Billy, I've pranged the Rolls and run someone off the road.  Some stranger has called the rozzers on me, what should I do?".  Billy replies "get the car back to mine and we'll hide it whilst I can fix it but be quick about it."

Razor and Stir leave the pub and head over to The Princess Eugenie Home for Cats.  Frank opens the door.  "We've come about a cat Frank" says Razor.  Frank lets them in and they explain that they heard he was coming into posession of a rare cat.  A "Dutch Diamond" to be exact.  As a cat lover Razor is prepared to pay hansomely for a rare exotic breed like that.  The big Ukranian tells Razor that the cat will be here in two weeks and he better have the money or he will "chop off his balls".  As they leave the cat home Razor comments "Frank always did like his knives.  We better go over to Billy's and get some shooters"

Sniffy and Gold Top are invited into the old ladies house and she explains that Mr. Tiddles went out through the catflap in the kitchen a couple of days ago and she hasn't seen him since.  The kitchen door opens out onto a jungle of a garden with piles of old furniture and trash stacked haphazardly  throughout.  Barely visible at the bottom of the garden is a fence and behind it a row of cat cages.  Sniffy pops a pill and gives one to Gold Top.  The halucinogen kicks in fast and from the corner of his eye Gold Top sees a human sized Mr.Tiddles beckoning at him from the fence.  The mancat wears a top hat and slinks through a broken slat into the fence.  The pair follow and find themselves behind a row of cages stacked 3 high at the back of a cats home.  Creeping round the corner they spy a hairy brute in a butchers apron wielding a cleaver.  He brings the blade down onto a chopping block and a cats head rolls off onto the floor.  At that moment the trip wears off and Gold Top instantly recognises the head as that of the real Mr.Tiddles. They bolt back through the hole in the fence, back through the garden and kitchen and out into the street screaming "He's fucking dead!". 

The Tilt - Something precious is on fire

Act One

Flashback a few years Stir and Razor, known then as simply Jim McTavish, are enjoying one of life's few luxuries when in residence at HMP Wormwood Scrubs, a haircut from the prison barber "fingers" Mario.  Suddenly the top dog Grouty walks in and shouts at McTavish to get the hell out of his chair.  Two of Grouty's heavies start roughing up Mario.  Stir swiftly gets out of his chair and throws a few puches in Mario's defence.  Jim calmly tells Grouty to wait his turn.  As the ageing gangster rushes towards him, Jim leans forward looking for Mario's cut throat razor but all his hands can grab is an electric trimmer.  He launches himself at Grouty from the barbers chair like an olympic diver.  The razor's curly cord stretches to it's limit until, with a pop, the plug lets go and shoots across the room hitting Grouty between the eyes prongs first.  The big man slips and Jim lands on top of him, the cord wrapped around Grouty's neck.  Never one to miss an opportunity when it arises, Jim pulls on the cord with all his might until Grouty breathes his last.  The two thugs run out of the barbers and alert the screws.  Hearing the wardens rushing to give him a beating, Jim looks at Stir and says "I guess that makes me the Top Dog now?"  Stir says well you'll need a Top Dog nickname "how about Razor?"  They both laugh as the first of the truncheons comes smashing down on their faces.

Flash forward to the day before the job.  The gang of four meet in The Admiral Benbow and discuss the plan for the next day.  Razor and Stir will get the cat from Frank and hand off to Sniffy and Gold Top in the milk float in case they get chased.  They'll all meet up back at Razor's.

Sniffy looks at Gold Top with a smile, they will have plenty of time to get the diamonds out of the cat and give it to the little old lady.  Everybody wins.

After the meeting Stir takes a walk over to Billy's garage to check on the Rolls.  As he turns the corner he lurches back into cover.  Outside are 3 police cars and a van.  Billy is being led out of the garage in cuffs.  DCI Reagan confronts him saying:

"Billy, you've been a very naughty boy.  I don't like shooters on my manor and I especially don't like people who run old ladies off the road in their expensive motors.  Don't worry we'll find out who's car it is.  Carter lock em up, It's 3 in the afternoon and I need a pint!" 

Razor and Stir ring the bell at the Princess Eugenie Home for Cats.  The door is answered by Frank's right hand man a hulking hairy butcher known as Sergei.  He shows them into the waiting room and Frank walks in carrying a cat box containing a black and white cat and places it on the coffee table.  Stir puts a briefcase onto the table.  Frank tells Sergei to check the case.  Razor pulls out a double barrelled shortened shotgun from inside his jacket and tells Frank there's been a change of plan. 

Frank laughs and reveals a remote controlled hand trigger. "I said no funny business put the gun down or the cat goes boom!"

Razor pulls a trigger and Franks head dissapears, the trigger drops to the floor.  Sergei lunges for the trigger and Razor shoots his last round blowing Sergei's hand off.  Grabbing the cat Razor and Stir swiftly exit the cats home as Gold Top and Sniffy trundle past in the milk float.

Sniffy grabs the cat box from his uncle and the pair speed off down the road.  Looking at the cat he can't believe their luck.  The cat in the box looks just like Mr Tiddles.  This deserves a celebratory snort so he cuts a couple of lines of coke, one for him and one for Gold Top.

Gold Top should have heeded the warnings on the TV.  Never snort and drive at the same time.  As the coke hits the spot a little old lady walks out of the road in front of him.  He swerves left and mounts the pavement hitting a pile of earth from an ongoing street repair.  The milk float is launched into the air and crashes through the front door of the police station.  The catbox flies out of Sniffy's lap its door pings open sending the cat flying through the air.

DCI Reagan looks down at the scene of destruction that is the foyer of the Police Station.  Picking up a milk soaked baggie of coke he says

"Well if it ain't the honest milkmen and their cargo of contraband.  Carter, book these boys in.  It's 9:30 and I haven't had any breakfast!"

Outside, the old lady exclaims "Mr.Tiddles, I thought I'd lost you!" and picks up the cat who is licking up the torrent of milk flowing down the Police Station steps. 

 

The Aftermath

Things don't go too well for Sniffy and Gold Top.  It's their first time in prison and Gold Top is still haunted by the memory of the Mr Tiddles beheading.  They both descend into a pit of despair and despondency.

Razor returns to The Scrubs, his violent reputation preceding him and quickly resumes his position as Top Dog without any bloodshed.

The long arm of the law catches up with Stir and he goes down for a 5 year stretch for causing death by dangerous driving.  Whilst inside he discovers he has a talent for writing.  His first true crime novel is published a few years later.  The Cat With an Arseload of Diamonds.

Lasers & Feelings: How can you fit so much game in just 1 sheet of A4?

The April 2020 RPG Blog Carnival hosted by Codex Anathema has the interesting theme of "To Boldly Go" which for me only means one thing... Star Trek.

Star Trek in a Single Page

I'm a big fan of Indie RPGs and when I make my annual pilgrimage to London's biggest RPG convention, Dragonmeet, I always try to get myself in on a game run by the London Indie RPG Meetup Group.  Games are pitched every hour, on the hour and usually run for 2 to 3 hours.  It is very rare that I can't get a game of something at the first attempt.

I first encountered Lasers & Feelings at one such Dragonmeet and was blown away by it's simplicity.  The entire game, including the plot generator, fits on one sheet of A4.  The game unashamedly harks back to the halcyon days of Star Trek (TOS) with its focus on derring do and emotionally chargeds romantic encounters.

Skills (Lasers and Feelings)

The core mechanic of the game revolves around two skills, Lasers (all the physical stuff and technical stuff) and Feelings (all the intuition and emotional stuff).  When you generate your character you choose where on the scale of 2 to 5 you want to be, The higher the number the more adept at Lasers, the lower the number the more adept at Feelings.

Skill checks are done with 1 or more D6 with Laser success rolling BELOW your skill number and Feelings ABOVE your skill number.  A roll of exactly your skill number results is known as LASER FEELINGS and you get to ask the GM a question which he will answer honestly.

These people are not meekly going on a space adventure

This sort of super simple system often results in Lasers characters being required to make Feelings rolls and the system includes a mechanic for helping out your crewmates by lending them a die.  Counting the number of successes

Like a lot of Indie RPGs the game lends itself to players contributing ideas on the fly from worldbuilding to storyline.  The best games I've played and run have always built upon the skeleton of the Adventure Creator with the best ideas being supplied by the players.  If you are going to try it unleash your imagination and you will have a blast.

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Thanks of course go to Of Dice and Dragons for continuing to promote the RPG Blog Carnival.  This is my 6th entry and you can read the rest by clicking the RPG Blog Carnival tag below.

International Tabletop Day 2014

Last Saturday was the second International Tabletop Day and unfortunately it wasn't possible for my regular Friday night group The Hobbits Hole to host an event this year.  So a bunch of us did the next best thing... we went to someone else's event.

The Role Play Haven RPG Club are based inside Lewisham Hospital at The Lewis Club and they were a very friendly bunch.  They meet on Wednesday nights for RPGs and Monday nights for Boardgames.  

Game of Thrones - House Stark on the move

I got to play a couple of games, namely:

The Quiet Year

A free form drawing game based around a year in the life of a post apocalyptic community.  Players draw cards to determine what random events affect the community and then choose to either discover something new or plan a project.

Of course the temptation with this sort of game is for it to go totally gonzo and we ended up having Ninja Rabbits attacking a Nazi Zeppelin whilst a party of explorers went to the mysterious pyramid and discovered the ark of the covenant.

A Game of Thrones

With season 4 of the TV series just around the corner I couldn't resist playing Fantasy Flight's epic game of royal houses fighting for control of the Iron Throne.  I was playing House Tyrell and although the lack of any court influence at the beginning was a bit of a pain, I had a fantastic tussle with House Martell.  Sadly I couldn't stay to find out how it all turned out, but I will definitely play this again.

Thanks guys it was a lot of fun and roll on 2015 when we can "Play more Games!!"