Jessie's Prints Episode 9 - Car Wars

This week, I are mostly been printing...

Classic Car Wars Vehicles 15mm / 1:64 - https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:4403771

Steve Jackson's classic automobile apocalypse game Car Wars was a big part of my childhood.  The tiny scale (and cardstock counters) meant that the whole epic game could fit  into a case slightly smaller than a video cassette.  

Many expansions were released over the years including The AADA Vehicle Guide.  By now SJG had developed a sort of short hand for describing these vehicles but the AADA Vehicle Guide was unusual in that it included a full set of elevation drawings for each vehicle.  A further expansion pack of AADA Counters was also available for play in the game. 

These are perfect for my 15mm Judge Dredd game so I thought I would have a go at modelling and printing some of these futuristic looking things.  They are also perfect for Gaslands with a bit of postapolcalyptifying and each model prints out in about 30 minutes, so faster than you can say "Can we go to the shops and buy some Hotwheels, mum?".

If you download them please remember to collect, share your makes and tip the designer if you fancy it.

Reminds me of the Volvo Ad catchphrase in the 1990 movie Crazy People "They're boxy, but good"

Superflash

Tonto

Spring Surprise

Painted

Schwarzenegger and Chan Team up in Weird Wuxia Fantasy

The Mystery of the Dragon Seal (also known as The Iron Mask) is the sequel to 2014's utterly bonkers Forbidden Empire. 

Watch it on
Amazon Prime

Directed by Oleg Stepchenko this is a bizarre mix of Russian creativity and Chinese money which results in a visually sumptuous affair.  Immaculatly dressed sets, fantastic wire work and a half decent storyline make this an engaging watch.

Set in the mid 1700s, Jason Flemyng reprises his role as hapless cartographer and adventurer Jonathan Green who, having survived the supernatural monsters of Transylvannia, has made it to the court of Peter the First of Russia.  Having previously met the Tsar when he visited London, Green is eager to present the map he has made for the him and hopefully be richly rewarded for his efforts. 

However, Green immediately spots that an imposter sits on the throne of Russia and he is summarily thrown in jail where he meets the Cheng Lan, daughter of kung fu master Jackie Chan.

Pigeon post correspondence with his betrothed Miss Dudley is intercepted by the real Tsar who is currently imprisoned in the Tower of London alongside Jackie Chan.  They return a pigeon and the whole story starts to pick up pace thanks to some political influence from her father (Charles Dance).

Enter unlikely prison warden and history buff James Hook (Captain Hook?) played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.  He seems to spend a lot of his screen time in a weird Ultimate Fighting American Ninja Death Match ring where prisoners have to beat him in combat and climb to the top of a ladder to win their freedom.

I don't want to spoil it for you so I will leave the spoilers there.  I will say one last thing though, Rutger Haur has a fleeting cameo.

What Did I think?

I have never been a fan of movies where you can literally feel the influence of the producers.  Arnie was an executive producer and it feels like his segments are overly long and drawn out because he is in control.  There is a nagging sense of direction by committee about this movie.

The multi-national cast means that the movie is dubbed entirely in English and badly at times even when the English cast are talking you can see that sections have been redubbed to change dialogue.  I'm guessing that the intention from the getgo is to sell this movie to as many different territories as possible with their own local dubbed version so lipsync is going to be an issue no matter who watches it.  Welcome to the real world of modern global cinema.  

Whilst this is immensely fun and a much better than the original movie in colour palette consistency and delivery it is no wuxia masterpiece like Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame.

An enjoyable watch if you don't think too hard.

Reaper Bones #19 - Townsfolk

Townsfolk were a welcome addition to the original Reaper Bones Kickstarter.  

I can't believe that I've DM'd for 37 years and not had any decent villagers to put infront of my players.  Well that time is over, let me present:

Townsfolk: Strumpet (Bobby Jackson SKU: 77086)

I don't think we have to say much about this mini other than that I can't possibly think what might happen if I answer her beckoning call...

Strumpet

Townsfolk: Mom and Kids (Bobby Jackson SKU: 77087)

I couldn't resist the temptation to paint the "strumpet" 5 years later.  Hope she's getting some welfare cheques for those kids.  Oh wait it's a quasi medieval setting, one of them is probably related to the local Baron...

Mom & Kids

Townsfolk: Blacksmith (Bobby Jackson SKU: 77142)

This guy is the strong and silent, stoic sort of guy who will get you out of a jam.  As long as you pay him up front.

Blacksmith

Townsfolk: Oswald the Overladen (Bobby Jackson SKU: 77141)

What can we say about Oswald?  He's a fairly reliable chap if you don't mind his grumbles and muttering.  Keep him well paid and he will carry more than his own weight (literally).  Don't get him to cook for you.  Who knows where that raw chicken came from but I'm fairly sure it's attracting flies...

Oswald the Overladen

You might notice that I am now using my new light box which came with two backdrops.  I think you'll agree they are much better photos.  If you haven't got one I can heartily recommend that you get a USB mini photo studio from eBay for cheaps, you won't regret it.

Bones Progress

Reaper Bones: 245 - Painted: 67

Related Posts

• Reaper Bones #1: The Marathon Begins - Where I paint a dozen Giant Rats.
• Reaper Bones #2: Kobolds, Are They Dogs or Dragons? - Where I paint a dozen kobolds.
• Reaper Bones #3: A Carcase of Skeletons - Where I paint a half dozen skeletons.
• Reaper Bones #4: A Shuffle of Zombies - Where I paint five zombies.
• Reaper Bones #5: Introducing Shaina Coppervein, Dwarven Orc Hunter - First PC mini.
• Reaper Bones #6: Mimic, Treasure Chest and How I re-base my Bones - Where I paint furniture.
• Reaper Bones #7: Fire Elemental Meets Novelty Lamp - Where I hack a mini with LEDs.
• Reaper Bones #8: Flaming Sphere LED Tealight Hack - Another mini LED lighting project.
• Reaper Bones #9: Elliwyn Heatherlark, Gnome Bard - Another PC mini.
• Reaper Bones #10: Horace "Action" Jackson - A Baddass disco dancing Motherfucker.
• Reaper Bones #11: Pirate Captain Thorin Stoneheart - A Swashbuckling Philanthropist.
• Reaper Bones #12: Monstrous Menagerie - Clay Golem, Eye Beast, Griffon, Owlbear, Marsh Troll.
• Reaper Bones #13: Giants - Male Storm Giant and Female Cloud Giant.
• Reaper Bones #14: More Monsters! -Ape-X, Female Demon, Two Golems, Oxidation Beast.
• Reaper Bones #15 - The Road Warrior - Mad Max - 50 bones painted at last.
• Reaper Bones #16 - A Patrol of Orcs - 5 orcs out hunting your party.
• Reaper Bones #17- Personalities - Player Characters, NPCs or a villain or two.
• Reaper Bones #18 - Furniture

A to Z of UK RPG in the 80s: N is for Northern Militaire

N is for Northern Militaire

Wargaming was a part of my childhood in the 70s/80s.  I would willingly be dragged to conventions like Sheffield Triples, FIASCO in Leeds or my favourite Northern Militaire in Manchester.  

I have particularly fond memories of one participation game I must have played for hours called "Kamikaze" where you piloted 1/72nd scale WWII Japanese torpedo bombers attacking a US Navy Carrier.  It was a lot of fun and very simple.  

Each turn you chose the height your plane was flying at and the carrier would fire its guns at you.  If you survived long enough you got to launch your torpedos and if you got close enough you could attempt a "Kamikaze" attack and fly directly into the carrier. 

The planes had verticle holes cut through the fuselage so they could be threaded onto a metal rod (a scientific stand if I recall) and you adjusted the height of the plane using a small bulldog clip fixed to the rod.  Damage markers were white red and yellow coloured rings and of course if you caught fire you would get the obligatory cotton wool smoke trail attached to your plane.  

My memory of the carrier was that it was huge and fairly basic in design.  To an impressionable 7 year old, detail didn't matter, it was the mutts nuts.  I'm fairly sure that the PC brigade would have none of it today but it was accepteable in the 80s.

If anyone reading this has any photos of the Kamikaze game from back in the day please leave a comment in the box below.  I would love to talk to you.

My Family (circled) at Northern Militaire circa 1979
(courtesy of The Wargaming Megalomaniac)

Special thanks to the following blogs for sharing their photos and memories.

• The Wargaming Megalomaniac
• Dear Tony Blair

Mega City Mini Plots

Here are three Judge Dredd RPG mini plots to go along with those Sci-Fi Street Funtiture scenery miniatures.

Vending Machine Rampage

When "Call Me Kenneth" led the robot revolution (progs 10 - 17) the vending machines stood dutifully by serving their customers with hot beverages and even hotter Man Chow.  When a system update breaks their programming these metal boxes go on the rampage with hilarious results.

We have to make them mobile and I like the idea that the vending machines of the future are autonomous.  When empty they sprout legs, wheels, tracks or whatever locomotive device and trundle back to the factory to be restocked and repaired.

Eyeball Icubes
you can Buy them on eBay

How do they kill?  Well that would be dependant on the vending machine.  Drinks machines will of course fire cans or streams of super hot synthi-caf from their dispensers.  Snack venders will scoop you in through their front door and spear you with those spiral dispenser coils.  An ice cube machine will chop you and then freeze you into bite size ice cube chunks.

Why are they doing this? What are their demands? Who made the bad code? - These are all questions your Judge team will need to find out.

Carnivorous Mutant Wigs

Mega City One has a long tradition entrepreneuers releasing new products with unintended consequences.  It could be anything.  Legendary hairpiece designer Baldnomeor is selling their latest toupees which are actually a cultivated creature from the Cursed Earth.  The hair conditioner they sell along with the wigs has a sedative effect on the creature. 

However, should you run out of conditioner or forget to apply it daily, these things will wake up.  They have a taste for human brains and they are very, very hungry.

It's possible that a bad batch of the conditioner has worked its way into the vending machine system meaning that thousands of follicly challenged Mega City One residents are at risk.

This plot hook is in no way shape or form inspired by Donald Trump rather than by a Hairy Jungle Flannel Moth Caterpillar photo which resembles his Toupee which I found on the interweb.

Megalopygid Trump by @Phil_Torres

Vending Machines are Witnesses Too

Not so much a plot and more of a statement of fact.  I conceive that in the future vending machines will have CCTV just like today where all ATMs (or as us brits call them "hole in the wall" cash machines) have CCTV cameras embedded in them.  They will use face recognition to identify their repeat customers and be programmed with Artificial Intelligence for small talk.

You might want to give them access to citizen's medical records in order to monitor their intake of synthi caffiene, sugar or other substances which might have a potential impact on their health.  Of couse they have access to all your credit details, unless you are one of those off the grid citizens who still pays with old fashioned plasti-creds, so can advise you on other tempting offers which could be delivered straight to your place of residence.

With all this technology and if we assume that they are mobile (as in the first plot hook) the Judges will not be surprised when they are doing a spot of desk duty and a vending machine trundles into the sector house to report a crime.