Thursday 25 March 2021

How Do I Start Playing Dungeons and Dragons

We've all had to begin somewhere and when I started playing nearly 40 years ago the internet didn't exist to help.

Find a Local Dungeons & Dragons Group

When you first start playing roleplaying games you need to learn from other players.  Critical Role and other streamed "Live" games are fine, but they are edited professional voice actors and that's going to give you an unrealistic expectation of what the game is like to play with normal people.  

Learn to play Dungeons and Dragons
Learning to play from experienced players is the best way

Joining a local group is the best way for you to learn the basics before you begin investing time and money into the hobby.  You will meet people who have been playing for years and can help you get up to speed straight away.

At my Friday night Tabletop Roleplay Group, Dragons Keep Roleplay Club, we are always welcoming to players new to the hobby and will help you to create a character and learn the basic rules.  We have experienced Games Masters who have been running Dungeons & Dragons for many years 

Google search terms like:

Roleplayers are everywhere and anyone

Even if you live in the back of beyond you will find that there are small groups of players in your town who have been quietly playing their games for years.  They will be from all walks of life and all kinds of people.  Roleplayers are some of the most diverse hobby groups I've ever come across.
 
They will advertise spaces on some of the many Roleplaying Forums like

Buy a starter set

Dungeons and Dragons has a long history of producing starter boxes which give you a simplified cut down version of the game, a starter adventure and even teach you how to play the game.  In fact they contain pretty much everything you need to get yourself up and running with the game.

Most game systems will have multiple starter set entry points.  Dungeons and Dragons has at least 3

For younger players there is even a boardgame version of D&D called Adventure Begins which will get you started.

 

Tuesday 23 March 2021

Cosmic Sin or Cinematic Crime?

Cosmic Sin is a new straight to streaming release starring Frank Grillo & Bruce Willis written and Directed by Francis Drake (Breach, Broil).

Low budget does not automatically mean bad

Cosmic Sin
A Cosmic Mistake
If I only watched big budget blockbuster movies I would miss out on those true gems which defy the odds and punch like a champion.  Films like the The Brass Teapot, or my all time favourite The Adventures of  Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension would never have seen the sparring ring never mind being on the title card.

Sadly this movie is not a contender.  It begins as a zombie movie before turning into a sci-fi shooter and really doesn't know what it wants to be.  Is it a straight up guns blazing action movie or is it a polemic on the nature of war and genocide of hostile alien species?  Are humans the bad guys here or were the aliens irredeemable?

It doesn't matter because it never holds onto its train of thought long enough until it's onto the next scene.  Pacing is in fact diabloical.

One huge complaint that I have is the dialogue for CJ Perry's character.  I think she had some great punch lines, like a sassy Vasquez, but the audio was terrible when she delivered them and I'll never get the joke. 

High Points?  

It's not all bad and there are some moments where the movie shines.  The suits look fantastic and the nig bad alien costumes are pretty good.  This is a Saban production so you get Power Rangers quality costumery.  Stalwart TV actor Costas Mandylor uses his screen time to great effect making everyone look wooden by comparison.  


However, it's not enough to save this movie especially when it gets to the final act where it completely loses the plot quite literally.  It's almost like the final quarter of the movie is from an entirely different movie.

It's not like I didn't give it a fair shake of the stick.

I watched it twice so that you don't have to...

Monday 22 March 2021

Reaper Bones #32 - Kord The Destroyer

Wow!, what an amazing pose for miniature monday.

Kord The Destroyer - Bobby Jackson (SKU 77061)

Kord The Destroyer
SKU 77061 - Kord The Destroyer

There's not really much to say that Bobby Jackson's sculpt doesn't already capture perfectly.  Muscles upon muscles, a skyrim inspired horned helmet, furs, a wolfs head, dual wielding a sword and a great axe.  

If he got in a fight with Conan, "By Crom!" I don't know who would come out on top?

Bones Progress

Sunday 21 March 2021

Newsround 14th to 20th Mar 2021

This week's roundup of what caught my eye on the internet.

Justice League the Snyder Cut 

The long awaited (and hard fought for) directors cut of the panned Justice league movie was released on HBO Max on the 18th March.  This was definitely on my list of films to see although I'm wasn't sure I would be able to to manage the advertised 4 hour run time in one sitting.  Thank God for streaming services where you can resume watching from where you left off.

Justice League - The Snyder Cut
Justice League - The Snyder Cut

I won't spoil it for anyone, but if you saw the original movie and thought it were dissapointed then you are in for a real treat.  There's more bonus material in this than the original so really it is a completely different movie.
 
I have long argued that DC do their best work with their animated movies.  Don't agree with me, then you probably haven't seen Justice League: War (2014), Batman: Ninja (2018), Batman: Gotham by Gaslight (2018) , either Justice League Dark (2017) or Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (2020) and not forgetting Superman Red Son (2020).

I am also rarely impressed with Director's cuts.  I am a huge fan of the original theatrical release of Bladerunner (1982) as I thought Harrison Ford's Mikey Spillane voiceover added so much detail and really missed it in the Ridley Scott cut.  
 
That said I still I hold out hope for the 4 hour long cut of David Lynch's Dune (1984).
Comic Relief
Fresh from their two successful live stream games Comic Relief are giving you all the opportunity to enter a competition to win a seat at an epic two day Live D&D event at Warwick Castle.

The game will be hosted by Mark Hulmes (High Rollers D&D) plus other Renaissance Fayre style events like a jousting tournament, the chance to win a handcrafted sword, a falconry exhibition and learn how to fight like a hero from medieval experts.  
 
You can donate on the Comic Relief website and the competition closes on 4th April 2021.

Gaslands (mad max with matchbox cars) has been a bit quiet since the epic launch of Gaslands Refuelled.  
 
This week saw the release of TX4 - Wasteland Survival Handbook which is essentially a series of 6 scenarios which form a wasteland campaign.  This is not a huge update, there are no additional factions for example.  Instead it focuses on building a system for running a championship tournament.  
 
It's all about flavour and whilst fans have been stringing race series together since the game was published three years ago, TX4 brings a canonised version to your game.

 
Gaslands at Dragons Keep
Gaslands at Dragons Keep

I'm a big fan of Gaslands and it is by far my favourite set of post apocalyptic car combat rules (believe you me I've tried em all).  When my club Dragons Keep can host one of its famous Game Day events following the relaxation of lockdown, I will be dusting off my Gaslands Cars and enjoying some car carnage.

Dragons Keep now on YouTube

We now have a YouTube channel which we can use to show off how awesome our club and its members are.  Expect regular content updates once we are back in our venue and we can take some video footage of our fantastic facilities.  To whet your appetite here is a little video featuring some of the modelling prowess of our talented miniature painting members Sam & Tony.  (Ed: they paint miniatures they aren't miniature members!!)

 
I've never had a problem with people copying what we do at Dragons Keep, after all imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  Especially when you are unimaginative and not very creative.  As they say "you've got to keep up with the Dragons Keep" isn't that right Mrs. Jones.

Saturday 20 March 2021

Sector 55 Blues - Prog 6 - Last Orders at The Two Ways Pub

Sector 55 Blues is a Judge Dredd Campaign using the Savage Dredd unnofficial Savage Worlds Expansion.  This is an online only game with members from Dragons Keep Roleplay Club.

Time to Call Last Orders

The Judges park their bikes in a row outside The Two Ways pub, a seedy city bottom dive of a bar in Benny Hill Block.

Messy Bar

As they walk in the 10 tonne receptionist demands 2 creds entry fee.  Judge Teal shouts "we're Judges we don't pay entry fees".  Judge Govan engages the boxy receptionist and asks "is Rabies in tonight?" to which she replies in a monotonic female voice

"I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING JUDGE GOVAN"

The Two Way Regulars

The Judges walk up the stairs revealling a run down bar with mid 1980s decor dominated by an oval podium surrounded by a substantial plasteel and glassteel balustrade on which a shiny gold go-gobot gyrates robotically to the sound of celtic rock music. 

The Crushinator
The Crushinator
Giselle the Go-GoBot
Giselle the Go-GoBot
Davina
Davina
Big Tam
Big Tam
Wee Burnie Nesbitt
Wee Burnie Nesbitt
Jimmy the Landlord
Jimmy the Landlord
Jack
Jack
Victor
Victor
Rabies C Nesbitt
Rabies C Nesbitt

Sitting in the corner are two oldies in flat caps sipping their pints enjoying the show (Jack and Victor).

A tall man (Big Tam) stands at the bar and to his left a short juve (Wee Burnie) and to his left a man sits on a stool slumped over the bar (Rabies Nesbitt).  

Behind the bar is a thin man with long hair (Jimmy) and a young woman with curly brown hair (Davina) who bears a striking resemblance to Tri-D TV Star David Tennant.

Cully engages the Davina in conversation "We are looking for Rabies Nesbitt, is he here"

"I don't know any Rabies, what about you Big Tam?" Davina asks.

The question ping pongs around the regulars, each one saying that they've never heard of a Rabies Nesbitt and passing it to another until the question gets to Wee Burnie.  The juve sniggeringly blurts "we have rats but no rabies, what about you da?" pointing the question at the man to his left who is trying to climb over the bar.

The Polis Arrive

Judge Govan enters the bar, spots Rabies and orders

Judge Govan - Stay Where You are Rabies.  You're under arrest!
Judge Govan - He's the face of the Justive Department in Sector 163

The clientel simultaneously gasp "Oh no it's Judge Govan!"

Jack and Victor both pull stumpguns out from inside their jackets and blast with both barrels.  Uthred takes one to the chest sending him flying across the room and Judge Govan catches another knocking him down the stairs in a shower of blood.

Judge Hammer spins round and shoots Jack in the chest knocking him into the corner between two sofas. 

Davina pulls a stumpgun from below the bar "Nobody walks in an shoots up my bar unless I'm doing the shooting!" and unloads both barrells in Judge Cully's direction.  The recoil of the gun sends her two rounds into the podium lights showering the go-go bot in coloured glass as it runs off the stage towards the stairs.

Big Tam swings wildly at Judge Cully but misses and Judge Cully blasts Davina in the chest with two rounds and quickly targets Big Tam hitting him in the shoulder pushing him back against the bar.

Wee Burnie offers covering fire for his Da and shoots a small pistol in the general direction of Judge Teal.   Jimmy ducks for cover.

Teal dives behind what remains of the wall to the left of the stairs and hits Victor twice but the rounds don't penetrate the body armour he is wearing under his tweed jacket.

Cully shoots 3GP rounds at Victor hitting him with one in the chest and then one in the back of the head.

The crushinator trundles forward smashing through the reception wall screaming "DEFENSE, DEFENSE" as loud as her fembot voice unit can manage.

Hammer shoots Wee Burnie in the back and in the head.

The injured Uthred dives behind a sofa for cover and unleashes a volley of shots into Tam felling the big man like a caber.

In a scene which would be at home in a daytime detective serial Hammer leaps over the balustrade and threads his legs in the narrow space between bartop and overhead canopy.  His bum slides across the damp, shiny synthiwalnut effect surface and nails the landing behind the bar facing the wrong way.

Despite landing two high ex rounds into the pink refrigerator like fembot, the wounded Judge Govan is crushed to death slowly under her tremendous trundling treads.  In typical stoic fashion he never made as sound as the life was squeezed out from him like a tube of toothpaste.  

Uthred launches himself onto the slab sided crushinator as Teal fires three armour piercing rounds into her torso.  Her mechanical voice slowly sings "DA...I..S..Y   D...A...I...S....Y" and the self propelled car crushing behemoth grinds to a halt.

The Car Chase

As Hammer emerges from the bar to find Rabies already in the drivers seat of a red hatchback cranking its engine.  The engine roars into life and begins to pull away from its parking space. He plants a round in the windscreen shattering the safety glass into a crazed pattern, a second blows out the passenger side window and a third punches through the passenger side door.

Cully is in hot pusuit chasing the car down the street and firing a high ex into the tailgate which blows open and a cardboard box bounces out onto the road landing in a puddle.

The soggy sodden box begins to shake with a mind of its own and Hammer places a well aimed Incendiary round with pinpoint accuracy showering the box and the street in napalm.  High pitched animal screams can be heard briefly form inside the box as it is consumed by fire.

Cully dashes after the accelerating car and leaps onto roof as it careens down the street.  In an athletic move, she swings her legs into the car catching Rabies in the face with the heel of her boot.  Rabies head smashes into the glass of the drivers side window which shatters.

As the car turns the corner it careens into the row of neatly parked lawmasters smashing their shiny new body work as they tumble over onto one another like two wheeled dominos.  The damage will mostly buff out maybe.

Teal hears the comotion outside and emerges from the pub to see a flash of red with a judge hanging half in and out of the door.  He takes out the passenger side rear tyre.

Uthred calls to his bike "Bike to Me"... "Bike to me"... "OK Google, Bike to me" but no answer.

Hammer throws a tracking device at the fleeing automobile and it lands with a satisfyingly magnetic thunk on the back bumper next to a sticker that reads "My Other Car is a Mini".  "I got a bleeper on it" he triumphantly shouts into his helmet radio.

Giselle the Go-GoBot thought she had escaped the carage but as she runs down the street she hears the roaring engine of the red hatchback behind her.  A quick thinking Teal shoots the bot in the beehive knocking it out of the way of the speeding vehicle saving the innocent exotic dancing droid's life.   

Cully wants to take this perp down and she spies another two boxes of what are most probably wig beasts in the back of his car.  However, "This is getting precarious" she thinks "With a tracker on him let's see where he runs to" and indelicately hurls herself from the car rolling to a stop at the kerbside.

Hammer turns his turns his attention to the bikes and finds one of the five in a semi operational state it's bike computer flickers the text

Lamaster Computer Rebooting

With a squeal and sparks from the right side rear wheel the car hurtles round the corner and out of sight in the direction of the West Wall.

Next Prog

Back Issues

Prog 1 - Suits You Sir - Mosh 55 rob Zlooty Slute's Suits You and a body is discovered.

Prog 2 - Hair Today Gone Tomorrow - Rock Dwayneson's apartment and carnage at the Yes-A-Bout

Prog 3 - It's Ugly Out There - Fun and Games at the Ugly Pageant 

Prog 4 - Down, Down, Deeper and Down - Entering the sewers under RESYK

Prog 5 - The Big Wig - Confronting the beast below the city