Dungeons & Dragons: Honour among Thieves

On a rare trip to the cinema I saw the latest Dungeons & Dragons Movie...

It was fantastic 

They pulled it off, and managed to put together a movie which pretty accurately reflects what playing a game is actually like.  Previous incarnations have made the cardinal sin of taking themselves too seriously because they built a world in which there are real consequences and motivations.  This is not D&D.

Let's face it most parties you have every had the honour of joining make up their plans on the spur of the moment.  Most of those plans go south almost immediately and the party scrapes a victory by the skin of their teeth.  This is well portrayed in the character of Edgin (Chris Pine) who even styles himself as the team leader and planner.  Every party needs a tank and Holgar (Michelle Rodriguez) fills this role with aplomb, they even give her a surprise romantic plot twist just to round out her character.

Low level mages are crap and this party's spellcaster is no different Simon the Sorceror (Jussie Smith) plays this to a tee.  Individual player agency even if that sends a plan spiralling into failure is a critically important part of the playing experience.  His triggering the bridge trap even whilst the rules are being explained to him is classic D&D.

The elf druid Doric (Sophia Lillis) is the only character that I struggled with because it was played as a jack of all trades.  This may have been for plot reasons but she felt a little NPC to me.  Talking of NPCs, who can forget the excellent Xenk Yendar (unpronounceable name starting with X... check!) the insufferable super character who cannot be bested in combat as he's too important to the plot to die, even though everyone kind of hates him.

Even the DM makes a sort of appearance as the hand of fate that tips the scales against our characters.  most noticeably in the carefully orchestrated portal painting scene when the frame "accidentally" falls over onto the floor.  So D&D.

Easter Eggs Galore

When you are dealing with a muti-generational fictional universe adored by millions you are going to need to lean on the fan service.  It's why your core audience, the fans, are going put down the cold hard cash to go see your movie.

This is where many of the current crop of properties go astray.  Instead of giving fans what they want the directors writers and producers all want to "subvert expectations" or lean into "representation" in order to chase some ethereal demographic of what they would like their audience to be.  This is so mind numbingly empted headed thinking that it beggars belief.  The first rule of any product is know your audience.

What this team did was mine the massive back catalogue of source material and pull out a few monsters that everyone is familiar with.

Aaracokra, Dragonborn, Rust Monsters, Owl Bears, Displacer Beasts, Gelatinous Cubes, Mimics and of course dragons.  Colour me surprised when up pops Themberchaud the fattest Red Dragon you are every likely to encounter.  He will be familiar to anyone who has had the misfortune to wind up in Gracklestugh the Duergar fortress city of the Underdark.  Last I saw of him he'd slain his jailers and was merrily setting the city on fire.

Familiar spells peppered the action like bullets from a machine gun.  Having a knock down drag out fight between two mages wielding Bigby's Hand was a sight to behold.  

In the run up to release, the internet was wild with complaints about how they should have written this with the characters of the original D&D Cartoon from the 80's.  The producers listened and lo and behold up they pop as contestants in the great games.  Nice. 

Will it Suceed?

Well if the runours are true and it cost $150 Million to make then it needs to turn $300 Million in order to break even.  With the recent debacle over the OGL and the social media backlash, I'm not so sure that it will.  Unlucky timing perhaps because without that cloud hanging over its head it should have been a no brainer choice for every D&D fan out there to go see it.

Savage Dredd - Gangs of Mega City One

Mega City One has its fair share petty criminals and none come more petty than the juve gangs who vie for supremacy in their respective blocks.  Here are just a few of the gangs I have created for my Judge Dredd campaigns set in Sector 55.

The Squid Squad

Residents of Little Korea, the squid squad are easily identifiable by their neon pink all over jumpsuits and black facemasks.  They are one of the most organised and disciplined gangs in Sector 55 and should be approached with caution.  Their suits offer protection against all chemical attacks and their masks include breathers and headsets rendering Stumm Gas and Sonic cannon ineffective.

I found a free guard model on Thingiverse 5021982 and scaled them down to 15mm to match my other Judge Dredd minis.  This was pretty much the limit of how small I can print a standard 28mm mini as they were a little vulnerable in the ankle area.  I love how they came out and with a quick lick of paint they are absolutely ready for a rumble in Mega City One.

The Fatties

It is almost impossible to find models of fat people on the internet.  Of course the officially licenced range has some fantastic minis but these are 35mm.  Milliput to the rescue.  I blobbed on some putty and roughly sculpted some corpulent citizens to flesh out any gathering.  I only made 5 but if I get a really great scenario idea that needs more then who knows. 

There is a distinct lack of protest banners as whenever they are depicted in the comics they always seem to be shouting about something or other.  I did have a go at modelling belly wheels but it was an abject failure.  They of course come in a wide variety of jumpsuits and track suits as they are always in training for their next big weigh in.

TV Media Crews

In Mega City One there are almost as many TriD TV channels as there are citizens.  From documentary channels to citizen broadcasters the airwaves are chock full of options for the discerning viewer and 24 Hour News is just one small slice of that media cake.

Looking like a cross between the anchor men of old and corporate shift workers, these guys are a common sight at any incident.  They band together like fleas on a rat, but when they smell a story it's dog eat dog.  Oh and don't think that they aren't above creating the odd incident on a slow news day.

The Barbarellas

These costumed crusaders can usually be found defending their home turf of Jane Fonda Block.  The Barbs, as they are colloquially known, work double duty as an organized crime gang and the block's Citi-Def. 

Armed with stub guns and reflective body armour styled after an old holovid from 1960s.  Membership of this gang is exclusive and you only get in if you are a prime specimen of health and vitality.  One of the gang's most lucrative rackets is running the many Fonda Fitness Centres which also give it access to a steady stream of new recruits in peak physical condition.

Jessie's Prints - Episode 25 - Efreet

This week, I are mostly been tasting...  Middle Eastern Delights

Regular readers will know that my favourite D&D setting is Al-Qadim but it was never well supported in terms of minis.  Time has been kind to the genre though and there are plenty of neat minis that can be downloaded all over the internet including. 

Efreet - Pinshape 48509

As soon as I saw this guy I new I had to print him my other two Djinn are a bit too weapony and this guy is all about giving out wishes.  I'm really pleased with the paint job on this guy and his muscles benefitted from the zenithal highlighting that I've been doing lately.

Talking of Al-Qadim, I recently acquired a copy of the Caravans boxset for the collection.  Whilst in these woke times there is absolutely no chance of WotC revisiting this setting on account of "Cultural Appropriation", I absolutely love how different it is to regular D&D.  If you are interested or have never heard of one of the best settings TSR ever came up with check out my Al-Qadim article.

Jessie's Prints - Episode 24 - I like Big Girls, I Cannot Lie

This week I are mostly been printing big women.

My foray into large scale 3D printed models continues in the early weeks of 2023 as I have printed off a series of large scale ladies.

Becca - Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Cults 3D) 

The standout character from last year's Netflix Original Anime Cyberpunk Edgerunners was of course Rebecca.  A cute little anime girl with a foul mouth and a fouler temper, Becca is the eptomy of the live fast die young aesthetic of cyberpunk.

There are a few Becca STLs out there some good, some bad but this is the only one I could find which was free.  That's why the pose is so weird but then so is Becca.

Harley Quinn (Fotis Mint via Printables)

When I heard that Fotis had put all of his sculpts onto Printables I jumped at the chance to print one out and chose Harley Quinn.

She is the spitting image of Margot Robbie and printed pretty well as a single figure with the exception of the back of her head which is nore an issue with my attempt at supports than the model itself.  The base printed seperately and I don't know what happened with scaling but it is a bit of a chonker.  This is going to be a real challenge for me to paint as I'm not very good with actual faces.

Ylenia Bloodthorne (Capritor Miniatures)

My clubmate Dan backed this Capritor Kickstarter and sent me the files to download and print for him.  This is my first foray into 78mm multipart minis and she came out okay.  I had little instruction in terms of sticking her together (hence the weird arm position) and she is so fragile that if you breathe on her she will snap.

This is part of the issue with resin printers and more specifically the resin you print with.  Sometimes a mini will just be too spindly to survive and Ylenia is in that category.  But I guess what can you exect for something so highly detailed and anatomically correct.

Is the OGL Debacle D&D Red Pill Moment?

I didn't get too excited when I heard about the release of One D&D, I'm not really a D&D player having moved over to the OSR years ago.

However, the handful of times I played 5th Edition, I found it was increasingly difficult to play without having a DnD Beyond account.  The shift to digital sessions and VTTs during lockdown was a gift from the Gods for WotC.  A whole new breed of player was introduced to TTRPGs without the Tabletop and this online thing just felt right to them.

Now that lockdowns have been lifted, IRL play has returned but for a growing segment of DnD players they have stayed online safe within the technology bubble and IP that WotC owns.  The revelation that they intend to milk this captive audience for every red cent they can should come as no surprise.

As Gary Gygax famously said,

"The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules."

Subscribing to a system with little option for homebrew and games being run by ChatGPT style bot DMs very much sounds like the plot of The Matrix.

My fervent hope is that, like Neo, this new breed of player throws off its bonds of slavery takes the red pill and finds out that other TTRPGs offer a much more interesting, diverse, challenging and satisfying experience.