Monster Mistakes of Yesteryear - The Killer Penguin

In 1985, when I was an impressionable 13 year old, someone gave me a copy of Dragonroar RPG by Standard Games.  

I remember it not for it's qualities as an RPG but for one hideously bad monster idea.  

The Killer Penguin...

The Killer Penguin Miniature???

Now I'm not one for dismissing people's creations off hand, but come on guys, what were you smoking that day?  Needless to say no-one's arguing over the rule changes between Dragonroar 3.5 and Dragonroar 4e so the RPG itself was neither a commercial or a critical success and it has long sinced disappeared into RPG obscurity.  

However, I do think that we need to preserve the memory of the Killer Penguin as a warning to all the misguided monster makers out there who may be toying with nature.

If you can think of any other more catastrophic monster mistakes or you think that the KP is much maligned feel free to write to the usual address...

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Bargain Alert!!

Just bagged myself a bargain in the shape of the boxed set of the TV Show Kolchak: The Night Stalker for only £8!! in my local Fopp in Earlham Street, London (directly opposite Orcs Nest)

For those who don't know the TV Show, Darren McGavin plays Carl Kolchak an investigative journalist who follows the strange and mysterious cases that the police either have bungled or can't solve.  It was made in the seventies and has been acknowledged by Chris Carter as a major influence in the X-Files, (McGavin was also cast in two episodes of the show and featured in Carter's other project Millenium).

In my opinion it's de rigeur viewing for anyone thinking of running a modern horror game such as Cthulhu Now, Delta Green, Consipiracy X or Dark Conspiracy.

I remember watching it in my teens when it was re-run on BBC2 and I loved it from the get-go, so I can't wait to see if it's lost any of it's charm in the last 20 years.  Stay tuned for episode reviews...

Fantasy Alternatives for Modern Gadgets

Inspired by Fantasy Billboards over at Gothridge Manor and after recently watching the excellent Reign of Assassins I thought to myself, what medieval equivalents exist for our everyday technology?

Mobile Phone : Courier - Couriers or runners can be found on every bustling metropolis street corner.  For a few coppers they will carry a written (or spoken) message to any inhabitant of the city.  If that person is at home you may even get a quick return message.  If you want a message or maybe even a package sent to a nearby town it will cost you quite a bit more depending on the distance and weight.

The couriers can be anything you like, street urchins, mundane or magical creatures like pigeons or fairies.  Longer distances can be covered by horse riders or if speed is the essence and you have a highly magical world, by means of teleportation, magic carpet or even by air elemental.


Clock : Muezzin - Time is money and people have always been willing to pay handsomely to know what the time is.  This could be handled either by the state, church or by an enterprising candle maker as a municipal function.  Water clocks existed in many different cultures around the world from as early as 4000BC, all you need is a regular sized vessel with a regular sized hole in it and are easy to manufacture by potters or smiths using templates.  In my Arabian setting this function was performed by the muezzin who called the faithful to prayer but I added a rudimentary clock to each minaret in the form of 12 metal fish which would tip down to strike the hours (the time was referred to as 3 fishes or 4 and a half fish).  Sundials (shadow clocks) can be erected as municipal features, like Egyptian obelisks, or complex architectural as is the case with a stone circle like Stonehenge.

News Media : Town Crier - This function can be performed by a Town Crier or similar who at various times of the day (he also performs the function of municipal clock) cries out the latest public announcements and for will cry private announcements such as market day announcements, weddings, birthdays etc.  It is also the function of the Town Crier to "post" written versions of these notices on a notice board.

Fridge : Windcatcher - There's nothing like having a cold beer after a strenuous days adventuring,  In temperate regions that function might be performed simply by using a cellar but in hotter climes they use a windcatcher or "Malqaf".  For hundreds of years these towers have been designed into Persian buildings as a form of air-conditioner which uses the Coandă effect to cool the air.  If coupled with an underground canal or resevoir they can chill water down to near freezing temperatures.  The Persians built this feature in to their ice houses (Yakchal) for this express purpose.  Or you could use a captive immature frost giant...

How to: make a Pringles can scroll case

A simple cardboard tube scroll case

As I explained in an earlier post, I'm going to be running a scenario which involves the PCs having a message delivered to them in a scroll case and it needs a prop, so i'll show you how to make one.

You will need:

• A "Pringles" can or similar stiff cardboard tube.  Ok, so I used a poster tube, but the concept's the same.
  
• Faux leather or other material to cover the tube.  Cheap to buy in any haberdasher.
  
• Spray-on glue, make sure to check the can to make sure it doesn't contain a solvent which will melt the vinyl.
  
• A permanent marker or "Sharpie"

The Instructions:

Mark your start point then roll - Step 1 Cut out a rectangle - Step 1 Mark out an end cap - Step 3 Roll and glue end cap body - Step 4 Mark and slash end cap body - Step 5 Fit end cap covers - Step 6

1. Place your material on a flat surface and place your cardboard tube on top. Use the marker to draw a line on the edge of the tube at both ends where it meets the material. Roll the tube along 1 revolution until the line on the tube meets the material and mark again. Join up the marks to make a rectangle.  Add a little extra on one long edge and one short edge. Cut section out with a sharp pair of scissors or a very sharp craft knife, be careful not to snag the backing as vinyl leather has a tendency to stretch rather than tear.
   
   
2. Spray the glue onto the material (check the can, as you may have to leave it a few minutes to activate, make sure you do it in a well ventilated room as this stuff can be smelly if not downright hazardous if you inhale the fumes) then carefully line up the tube on one edge and roll along the material making sure that you apply even pressure to prevent any wrinkling, then leave to dry.
   
   
3. Follow the same process you used in Step 1 to mark out another rectangle, this will become an end cap.  Mark out a glue tab and mask off with some newspaper, so when you spray on the glue you don't get any on the inside of the cap.  Optional: The vinyl is pretty thin so if you want a more sturdy cap wrap a piece of thin card around the tube a couple of times to create a sleeve.  Then mark up the rectangle around this sleeve.
   
   
4. Place your covered tube on the unglued part of the tube and roll it up.  It's a good idea to make this part a bit loose to make it easy to get the cap on and off, leave it to dry.
   
   
5. If your tube had a plastic cap use this to mark out two circles of material to cap off each end.  Cut these out and leave to one side.  In order to fix these to the ends of the tube and cap you'll need to cut slashes in the overhang you created.  On the long tube this is simple, on the cap you'll need to slide the cap over the end to create a decent sized flap to glue the end cap covers.
   
   
6. Now comes the tricky bit... Spray glue on an end cap cover (you'll need to do this bit one at a time as it's fiddley) and leave for a couple of minutes to go tacky.  Then carefully attach the circular cover bending and sticking each flap as you go, leave to dry before repeating the process at the other end.  Optional: If you followed the optional instruction in step 3 you'll want to reinforce the end cap with a disc of stiff cardboard like artists mounting board.
   
   
7. Eh Voila! you have a basic scroll case.  You can embelish it with stitching made from string, piping or brocade to cover up the seam lines.

If you make a scroll case using these instructions please comment and include a picture link, I'd love to see how you got on.

Next project: How to make an "antique" paper scrolls.

Old Skool Accessory: The Fighting Wheel

It sounds like some really cool martial arts weapon, or a futuristic Armoured Fighting Vehicle...

Nope it's a circular dial which helps you calculate your favourite weapon's Damage, Space Required, #Attacks, THAC0 and AC target number.

Obverse (Front): Battleaxe to Footman's Pick

How the heck do you use it? I hear you cry. 

You find your weapon of choice around the rim (all the weapons are there, some on the front and some on the back) and then dial in your level using the inner wheel. When your level and weapon are aligned your AC bonuses appear in the middle window. Simples...

Reverse (Back): Horsema's Pick to Voulge and Missile Weapons