Wednesday, 26 February 2014

99 Problems but the Pole ain't One

My regular gaming group are currently experiencing the Liberation of the Demon Slayer an old school gonzo module by Venger Satanis with maps by Dyson Logos.

Liberation of the Demon Slayer cover image
Liberation of the Demon Slayer
The beginning of the module has them preparing to delve into the caverns outside the village of Clear Meadow in search of a fabled magic sword, the villagers kindly provide 3 days rations, 30 foot of rope and a 10 foot pole to each brave soul willing to enter.  My players are unfamiliar with old school dungeoneering so I've taken the liberty of preparing a short list of things they can do with their pole in the style of popular urban troubadour Jay Z...

99 Uses for a 10ft pole

  1. Poke things that are ten feet away.
  2. An improvised measuring stick for things like the depth of water or the width of a crevasse.
  3. Tie two together with a sack in the middle and you have a stretcher.
  4. Tie two together at one end and you have a travois, you can drag your loot behind you.
  5. Use it to carry your pack on the end like some kind of hobo.
  6. Tie a white flag to the end and you can surrender to those bandits.
  7. Trigger a trap from a safe distance.
  8. Tie two together at one end and you have an A-frame (That's half a crane to you and me).
  9. Cut it into sections and you have several improvised clubs.
  10. Cut off sections can be used to wedge doors closed if you don't have spikes.
  11. Jam the end into a doorway to keep it open.
  12. Use it to improve your balance when making those tightrope walking checks.
  13. It's a lever.
  14. It's a great punt pole when rafting. 
  15. It's an improvised tent or pole.
  16. Tie a noose to one end and you have a snare for handling wild dogs. 
  17. It's a walking pole. 
  18. Use it to testing the snow for hidden crevasses in the arctic north.
  19. Tie two together (at both ends) and you have an improvised bridge. 
  20. Stick a mirror on the end and you can see out of trenches or around corners. 
  21. It's one third of a ladder. 
  22. Stick two in the ground with string or rope between them and you can hang your wares at market. 
  23. Jam it into the mouth or eye of a Tyrannosaur / Rancor / Kraken / Terrasque.
  24. Wedge it between the floor and the descending ceiling.
  25. Add some ribbons and you've got a may pole. 
  26. Knock down that wasps nest.
  27. Use two or three to make a tiger trap, just cover them with big leaves. 
  28. Cut them up and sharpen the ends, hey presto… vampire stakes! 
  29. Tie the stakes to a springy tree limb, instant punji stick trap. 
  30. Tie a knife to the end, go spear fishing. 
  31. Trim it to 6ft and use it as a fighting staff. 
  32. It's an improvised lance. 
  33. Make a pair of garrotte handles. 
  34. Jam 2 halves in the ground on either side of a track with a wire between them it's a nasty trap. 
  35. Use it to complete your staff of Ra and find the burial site of the Ark of the Covenant.
  36. It's something to lean against when on guard duty. 
  37. It's for dancing around, apparently. 
  38. It's a fishing pole. 
  39. Use two as improvised stilts.
  40. Use it to push prisoners (or animals) about with.
  41. It's a yoke for carrying two heavy things.
  42. It's a truss rod for two people to carry one really heavy thing.
  43. It's a balance beam for weighing things.
  44. Tie three together at one end to make a tripod to suspend your cooking pot.
  45. Chop it up for fire wood.
  46. Stick to snake spell needs a stick.
  47. It's a wizards staff if the wizard loses one.
  48. It's a bunch of torches when you run out.
  49. It's a stirring stick for really big cauldrons. 
  50. Test the water to see if it's really acid. 
  51. Tie two short lengths together, it's improvised nunchucks.
  52. Tie three together in a triangle it's a coat hanger.
  53. Stick meat on the end and feed your pet tiger or other ravenous beastie. 
  54. Use it as a trail or claim marker. 
  55. If you have enough you can stick them in the ground a make a temporary fence or cage.
  56. Cut notches on it to keep count of your conquests (or kills).
  57. Whittle on it around the camp fire to pass the time. 
  58. Cut a few in half and sharpen the ends, stick them in the ground at 45 degrees, you've got a horse proof barrier. 
  59. Tie helmets onto it at regular intervals and you've got an instant army of friends. 
  60. Make a scarecrow.
  61. With a little craft and string you have improvised snow shoes.
  62. Tie a shield to it and stick it in the ground, instant archery target. 
  63. If your shields big enough, hide behind it for that all important cover bonus. 
  64. Bang it on the ground to call attention to yourself. 
  65. Tie a torch to the end to ward off really dangerous animals.
  66. Tie a sling to the end and use it as a catapult arm. 
  67. Use it to push away siege ladders.
  68. Capture several prisoners, tie their hands and feet to the pole. 
  69. A stake to tie the virgin/witch to. 
  70. A limbo pole.
  71. A replacement axle for your wheelbarrow. 
  72. A handle for a windlass.
  73. Use it to break out jail Jackie Chan style (it also involve weeing on your shirt though).  
  74. Tie some rushes to the end and make a broom to sweep away your tracks. 
  75. Use it to spin plates or bowls and entertain the tribal chief. 
  76. Chop it up into lengths and jam in the walls to make improvised steps.  
  77. Wood to metal spell needs some wood.
  78. Make a yoke for your oxen.
  79. Use it to spit roast a pig.
  80. Make foucault's pendulum and test the Coriolis Effect.
  81. It's a makeshift pull-up bar.
  82. Add weight's It's a weightlifting bar.
  83. Add rope, It's a trapeze handle. 
  84. It's a lightweight caber.
  85. Spin around it when your drunk its a party game.
  86. You can hang tapestries, or curtains with it.
  87. It's a flag pole.
  88. It's a sundial.
  89. It's for knocking down fruit or coconuts.
  90. Charge a line of enemies and knock them over clothes line style.
  91. It's for jamming in the wheels of Nazi motorbikes.
  92. You can tie your horses together with one. 
  93. For rescuing people from quick sand.
  94. An improvised holy symbol.
  95. Tie a pigs bladder to the end and go wassailing.
  96. It's several baseball bats.
  97. Use it to make a corracle.
  98. It's one third of a poor man's bass guitar (add wire and a box).
  99. Add a hook it's a fisherman's gaff (for landing big fish).

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